Menaechmi, or The Twin Brothers (1016b-1051b)

Let him go then.

What business have you to touch me? Thump them with your fists.

Come, begone, fly hence to utter perdition with you. (Three run away.) Here’s for you, too (giving the fourth one a punch); because you are the last to yield, you shall have this for a reward. (They all disappear.) Right well have I marked his face, and quite to my liking.

Troth, now, master, I really did come to your help just now in the nick of time.

And may the Gods, young man, whoever you are, ever bless you. For, had it not been for you, I should never have survived this day until sunset.

By my troth, then, master, if you do right, you will give me my freedom.

I, give you your freedom?

Doubtless: since, master, I have saved you.

How’s this?

Young man, you are mistaken.

How, mistaken?

By father Jove, I solemnly swear that I am not your master.

Will you not hold your peace?

I’m telling no lie; nor did any servant of mine ever do such a thing as you have done for me.

In that case, then, let me go free, if you deny that I am your servant.

By my faith, so far, indeed, as I’m concerned, be free, and go where you like.

That is, you order me to do so?

I’ faith, I do order you, if I have aught of authority over you.

Save you, my patron. Since you seriously give me my freedom,

I rejoice.

I’ faith, I really do believe you.[*]

But, my patron, I do entreat you[*] that you won’t command me any the less now than when I was your servant. With you will I dwell, and when you go I’ll go home together with you. Wait for me here;

I’ll now go to the inn, and bring back the luggage and the money for you. The purse, with the money for our journey, is fast sealed up in the wallet; I’ll bring it just now here to you.

Bring it carefully.

I’ll give it back safe to you just as you gave it to me. Do you wait for me here.

Very wonderful things have really happened this day to me in wonderful ways.

Some deny that I am he who I am, and shut me out of doors; others say that I am he who I am not, and will have it that they are my servants. He for instance, who said that he was going for the money, to whom I gave his freedom just now. Since he says that he will bring me a purse with money, if he does bring it[*], I’ll say that he may go free from me where he pleases,

lest at a time when he shall have come to his senses he should ask the money of me. My father-in-law and the Doctor were saying that I am mad. Whatever it is, it is a wonderful affair. These things appear to me not at all otherwise than dreams. Now I’ll go in the house to this Courtesan, although she is angry with me; if I can prevail upon her to restore the mantle for me to take back home. (He goes into EROTIUM’S house.)

Do you dare affirm, audacious fellow, that I have ever met you this day since the time when I ordered you to come here to meet me?

Why, I just now rescued you before this house, when four men were carrying you off upon their shoulders. You invoked the aid of all Gods and men, when I ran up and delivered you by main force, fighting, and in spite of them.