Eunuchus; or, The Eunuch (1007b-1039b)

Why so?

Do you ask? Upon my faith, I never did see, nor shall see, a more silly fellow. Oh dear, I can not well express what amusement you’ve afforded in-doors.

And still I formerly took you to be a clever and shrewd person. Why, was there any need for you instantly to believe what I told you? Or were you not content with the crime, which by your advice the young man had been guilty of, without betraying the poor fellow to his father as well?

Why, what do you suppose his feelings must have been at the moment when his father saw him clothed in that dress? Well, do you now understand that you are done for?

Hah! what is it you say, you hussy? Have you been telling me lies? What, laughing still? Does it appear so delightful to you, you jade, to be making fools of us?

Very much so.

Yes, indeed, if you can do it with impunity.

Exactly so.

By heavens, I’ll repay you!

I believe you; but, perhaps, that which you are threatening, Parmeno, will need a future day;

you’ll be trussed up directly, for rendering a silly young man remarkable for disgraceful conduct, and then betraying him to his father; they’ll both be making an example of you.

I’m done for!

This reward has been found you in return for that present of yours;[*] I’m off.

Wretch that I am; just like a rat, this day I’ve come to destruction through betrayal of myself.[*]

Well now? With what hope, or what design, are we come hither? What do you intend to do, Thraso?

What, I? To surrender myself to Thais, and do what she bids me.

What is it you say?

Why any the less so, than Hercules served Omphale.[*]

The precedent pleases me. (Aside.) I only wish I may see your head stroked down with a slipper;[*] but her door makes a noise.

Confusion! Why, what mischiefsthis? I never saw this person before; why, I wonder, is he rushing out in such a hurry?

O fellow-townsmen, is there any one alive more fortunate than me this day? Not any one, upon my faith: for clearly in me have the Gods manifested all their power, on whom, thus suddenly, so many blessings are bestowed.

Why is he thus overjoyed?

O my dear Parmeno, the contriver, the beginner, the perfecter of all my delights, do you know what are my transports?

Are you aware that my Pamphila has been discovered to be a citizen?

I have heard so.

Do you know that she is betrothed to me?

So may the Gods bless me, happily done.

Do you hear what he says?

And then, besides, I am delighted that my brother’s mistress is secured to him; the family is united. Thais has committed herself to the patronage of my father;[*] she has put herself under our care and protection.

Thais, then, is wholly your brother’s.