Why so?PYTHIAS Do you ask? Upon my faith, I never did see, nor shall see, a more silly fellow. Oh dear, I can not well express what amusement you’ve afforded in-doors. And still I formerly took you to be a clever and shrewd person. Why, was there any need for you instantly to believe what I told you? Or were you not content with the crime, which by your advice the young man had been guilty of, without betraying the poor fellow to his father as well?Why, what do you suppose his feelings must have been at the moment when his father saw him clothed in that dress? Well, do you now understand that you are done for?(Laughing.)PARMENO Hah! what is it you say, you hussy? Have you been telling me lies? What, laughing still? Does it appear so delightful to you, you jade, to be making fools of us?PYTHIAS(laughing.)Very much so.PARMENO Yes, indeed, if you can do it with impunity.PYTHIAS Exactly so.PARMENO By heavens, I’ll repay you!PYTHIAS I believe you; but, perhaps, that which you are threatening, Parmeno, will need a future day;you’ll be trussed up directly, for rendering a silly young man remarkable for disgraceful conduct, and then betraying him to his father; they’ll both be making an example of you.(Laughing.)PARMENO I’m done for!PYTHIAS This reward has been found you in return for that present of yours;In return for that present of yours: By the present she means Chaerea in the disguise of the Eunuch. I’m off.(Goes into the house.)PARMENO(to himself.)Wretch that I am; just like a rat, this day I’ve come to destruction through betrayal of myself.Through betrayal of myself: Which betrays itself by its own squeaking.

(Enter THRASO and GNATHO.)GNATHO(to THRASO.)Well now? With what hope, or what design, are we come hither? What do you intend to do, Thraso?THRASO What, I? To surrender myself to Thais, and do what she bids me.GNATHO What is it you say?THRASO Why any the less so, than Hercules served Omphale.Hercules served Omphale: He alludes to the story of Omphale, Queen of Lydia, and Hercules. Being violently in love with her, the hero laid aside his club and boar’s skin, and in the habit of a woman plied the spindle and distaff with her maids. See a curious story of Omphale, Hercules, and Faunus, in the Fasti of Ovid, B. ii. l. 305. As to the reappearance of Thraso here, Colman has the following remarks: Thraso, says Donatus, is brought back again in order to be admitted to some share in the good graces of Thais, that he may not be made unhappy at the end of the Play; but surely it is an essential part of the poetical justice of Comedy to expose coxcombs to ridicule and to punish them, though without any shocking severity, for their follies. GNATHO The precedent pleases me. (Aside.) I only wish I may see your head stroked down with a slipper;With a slipper: He doubtless alludes to the treatment of Hercules by Omphale; and, according to Lucian, there was a story that Omphale used to beat him with her slipper or sandal. On that article of dress, see the Notes to the Trinummus of Plautus, 1. 252. but her door makes a noise.THRASO Confusion! Why, what mischiefsthis? I never saw this person before; why, I wonder, is he rushing out in such a hurry?(They stand aside.)

(Enter CHAEREA from the house of THAIS, on the other side of the stage.)CHAEREA(to himself, aloud.)O fellow-townsmen, is there any one alive more fortunate than me this day? Not any one, upon my faith: for clearly in me have the Gods manifested all their power, on whom, thus suddenly, so many blessings are bestowed.PARMENO(apart.)Why is he thus overjoyed?CHAEREA(seeing PARMENO, and running up to him.)O my dear Parmeno, the contriver, the beginner, the perfecter of all my delights, do you know what are my transports? Are you aware that my Pamphila has been discovered to be a citizen?PARMENO I have heard so.CHAEREA Do you know that she is betrothed to me?PARMENO So may the Gods bless me, happily done.GNATHO(apart to THRASO.)Do you hear what he says?CHAEREA And then, besides, I am delighted that my brother’s mistress is secured to him; the family is united. Thais has committed herself to the patronage of my father;To the patronage of my father: It was the custom at Athens for strangers, such as Thais was, to put themselves under the protection (in clientelam) of some wealthy citizen, who, as their patron, was bound to protect them against injury. An exactly parallel case to the present is found in the Miles Gloriosus of Plautus, 1. 799, where the wealthy Periplecomenus says, Habeo, eccillam, meam clientam, meretricem adolescentulam. Why, look, I have one, a dependent of mine, a courtesan, a very young woman. she has put herself under our care and protection. PARMENO Thais, then, is wholly your brother’s.