Truculentus, or The Churl (750-784)

we take in-doors; when it’s got by us, it can’t be carried out of doors. (Turning on her heel.) Kindly farewell.

Do stay.

Let me go! Leave off!

Do let me go in.

Yes, to your own house,

Aye, but here into your house.

You cannot go.

I can, very well. Do let me try.

No, wait here; it’s sheer violence to try.

I’d say that you are here, if she wasn’t engaged.

Ha! Do stop![*]

It’s of no use.[*]

Are you going to return or not?

I’d return, but a voice is calling me that has more influence with me than you have.

In one word

I’ll say it.

You’ll receive me?

You are telling a lie—be off. One word, you said; but now three words have you uttered, and those untrue.

She’s off, and she’s gone hence in-doors That I should endure these things to be done to me. By heavens, enticer, with my cries I’ll be exposing you to ridicule in the street,

you who, contrary to law, have received money from many a one. Upon my faith, I’ll forthwith cause your name to be before every magistrate[*], and after that I’ll sue you for fourfold[*], you sorceress, you kidnapper of children. By the powers, I’ll now disclose all your disgraceful deeds. Worthless creature that I am, who have lost everything I had! I’m become desperate,

and now I haven’t the slightest bit of concern what shoes I wear[*]. But why am I trying here? What, suppose she were to order me to be let in? I could swear in solemn form that I wouldn’t do it if she wished. It’s nonsense. If you thump a goad with your fists, your hands are hurt the most. It’s no good to be angry at a thing of nothing; a creature that doesn’t value you a straw.

(Starting.) But what’s this? O immortal Gods, I see old Callicles, him who was my connexion by marriage[*], bringing two female slaves in bonds, the one the hair-dresser of this Phronesium, the other his own servant-maid. I’m greatly alarmed! inasmuch as one care has so recently taken possession of my heart, I’m afraid lest all my former misdeeds should be discovered.

Do I use ill language to you, or do I wish you so very ill? According to my ideas, you have both pretty well experienced how mild and gentle a person I am. I interrogated you both, as you were lashed and hanging up by the arms; I well remember it; the way in which you quite confessed each point, I know. Here now, I wish in the same way to learn; do you confess without a punishment.

Although you are both of you of the serpent nature, I tell you beforehand, you mustn’t be having double tongues, lest with your two tongues I should be putting you to death; unless, perhaps, you wish to be taken to the men who go clink, clink[*].

Violence forces me to confess the truth; the thongs do so gall my arms.

But, if you confess the truth to me, you shall be relieved from the chains.