Truculentus, or The Churl (660-690b)

My father, in the first place, I’m quite resolved to ruin, root and branch; then next in turn, my mother. Now to-day I’ll carry this money to her whom I love more than my own mother. (Goes towards the door of PHRONESIUM, and knocks.) Hillo there—is any one here? There’s not a woman. Is any one going to open this door?

Why so a stranger, pray, my dear Strabax?

Why don’t you come in at once?

Ought you to have been doing so,

you, indeed, who are so intimate?

I’ll go in then, that you mayn’t think I’m loitering.

You act obligingly.

It seems marvellous to me, that Strabax, my master’s son,

hasn’t returned from the country, unless perchance he has slily slipt in here into this den of corruption of his.

Now, faith, he’ll be roaring at me if he espies me.

I’m much less savage now, Astaphium, than I was before; I’m not churlish now; don’t thee fear. (She runs to a distance.) What wouldst thee be at? What?

What, say you? Why, I’m waiting for your churlishness.

Say, command me what thee dost please, and in what way thee dost please. I’ve got all my manners anew: my old ones I’ve parted with. I can e’en fall in love, or take a mistress now.

Upon my faith, you do tell me fine news. But tell me,

have you— ?

A mistress[*], perhaps, thee means.

You’ve understood nicely what I meant to say.

Hark you, since I’ve been so many times backwards and forwards to the city, I’ve become quite a chatterer; I’m now a right good stalker[*].

Prithee, what’s that? That’s nonsense;

perhaps you intend to mean talking.

Just so; it differs mighty little from stalking.

Prithee, do follow me in-doors, my love.

Take this for thyself; keep it as a ledger[*] for thee, that thee mayst give me thy company this night.

You are the death of me, with your ledger. What kind of beast am I to say that is?

Thy don’t you say pledge?

The r I make a saving of; just as the Praenestines[*] have conia, for ciconia.