Pseudolus, or The Cheat (613b-646)

The Gods protect and favour me! for this is my anvil: this day will I hammer out thence full many a device.

Why is he talking to himself alone?

How say you, young man—?

What is it?

Are you, or are you not, from that Captain of Macedonia? The servant of him, II mean, who bought a damsel of us here, who gave fifteen silver minae to the procurer, my master, and is still owing five?

I am. But where in the world have you ever known me,

or have ever seen or spoken to me? For in fact, before this day, I never was at Athens, nor did I ever before this day behold you with my eyes * * * * * * * * * *

Because you seem likely to be from him; for at the time when he went away, this was the day appointed for the money, on which he was to pay it to us, and he has not brought it as yet.

Yes, here it is.

What?—have you brought it?

I, myself.

Do you at all hesitate to give it me?

I, give it you?

Aye, faith, to me, who manage the business and the accounts of my master Ballio, receive his money, and pay it to him to whom he owes it.

By my troth, if you were even the keeper of the treasures of supreme Jove, I would never entrust a groat of silver to you.

While you’ve been making yourself so big,

the money has become loose [*].

I’ll keep it the rather tied up—this way.

Woe to you! You indeed have been found to doubt my honor. As though innumerable times as much are not in the habit of being entrusted to me alone.

It’s possible that others may think so, and that I mayn’t trust you.

As though you meant to say that I wished to chouse you out of the money.

Why, yes; as though you meant to say so; and as though I, on the other hand, meant to suspect it. But what’s your name?

This procurer has a servant of the name of Syrus; I’ll say that I am he. I am Syrus.

Syrus?

That’s my name.

We are making many words. If your master’s at home, why don’t you call him out, that I may transact that for which I was sent here, whatever be your name?

If he were within I would call him out. But if you choose to give it me, it will be more truly paid than if you were to give it to himself.

But now do you know how it is? My master has sent me to pay this, not to lose it. But I know, to a certainty, that you are in a fever now, because you cannot lay your claws upon it. I shall entrust the money to no person except to Ballio himself.

But at present he’s full of business: a cause of his is being tried before the judge.

May the Gods prosper it! And I, when I shall think that he’s at home, will come again. Do you take this letter from me, and give it him: for in it is the token agreed upon between your master and mine about the damsel.