Pseudolus, or The Cheat (555b-613)

Because, by my faith, if you don’t give it, you shall be dunned for it with clamour great and plenteous. Come, now, move yourselves off hence into the house this instant, and in turn give room for my tricks.

Be it so.

You may have your way,[*]

But I want you

to keep close at home.

Well, that assistance I promise you.

But I shall be off to the Forum. I’ll be back here presently.

Be back directly. (To the AUDIENCE.) I have a suspicion, now, that you are suspecting that I have been promising these so great exploits to these persons for the purpose of amusing you, while I am acting this play,

and that I shall not do that which I said I will do. I will not change my design; so far as that then I know for certain; by what means I’m to carry it out not at all do I know as yet; only this, that so it shall be. For he that appears upon the stage in a new character, him it befits to bring something that is new.

If he cannot do that, let him give place to him who can. I am inclined to go hence into the house for some little time, while I summon together [*] all my stratagems in my mind. Meanwhile this piper shall entertain you.

O Jupiter, whatever I undertake, how cleverly and how fortunately does it befal me.

Not any plan is there stored up in my breast that I can hesitate upon or be afraid of. But it is folly to entrust a bold exploit to a timorous heart; for all things are just as you make them, so as you make them of importance. Now in my breast have I already so prepared my forces—

double, aye, threefold stratagems, that when I engage with the enemy, relying upon the merits, I say, of my forefathers, and on my own industry and tricking propensity for mischief, I may easily conquer, and easily spoil my antagonists by my contrivances.

Now will I adroitly batter down this Ballio [*], the common foe of me and all of you; only lend me your attention. Now will I forthwith draw out my legions against this old town. If I take it, I shall make it a pleasant matter for the citizens: I’ll load and fill myself, and my allies as well, with booty from it. I shall strike terror and fright into my enemies, so that they may know of what race I was born.

Great exploits it befits me to perform, which long after may bespeak fame for me. But whom do I see here? Who’s this low fellow that’s presented before my eyes? I should like to know why he’s come here with his sword: I’ troth, now then I’ll lie here in ambush for him, to see the business that he’s about.

This is the place, and this the spot, which was pointed out to me by my master, according as I form a judgment from my eyesight. For my master, the Captain, told me to this effect, that the house was the seventh from the gate, in which lives the person to whom he requested me to carry the token and this silver * * * * * I could vastly wish that some one would inform me where this Ballio, the procurer, lives.

Hist! Silence! This man is mine, unless all Gods and men forsake me. Now have I need of a new plan; this new scheme is suddenly presented to me. This I prefer to my former one; that I shall dismiss, which, before, I had commenced to carry into effect. By my troth, I’ll then work this military messenger that’s just arrived.

I’ll knock at the door, and call some one out of doors from within.

Whoever you are, I wish you to spare your knocking; for I’ve just come out of doors, I, the spokesman and the defender of the door.

Are you Ballio?

Why, no; but I’m the deputy-Ballio [*].

What means that expression?

I’m his butler-steward [*]; the caterer for his larder.

As though you were to say, you are his chamberlain [*].

No; I’m above his chamberlain.

What are you, slave or free man?

Why, at present, I’m still a slave.

So you seem to be; and you don’t look to be one worthy to be free.

Ain’t you in the habit of looking at yourself when you abuse another person?

This must be a roguish fellow.