Mercator, or The Merchant (240-297)

This seemed extremely wonderful to me, how that this single she-goat could possibly have gnawed away[*] the marriage-portion of the wife of the ape. The ape, however, insisted that it was so, and, in short, gave me this answer, that if I didn’t make haste and remove her away from his own house, he would bring her home into my house to my wife.

And, by my troth, I seemed very greatly to take an interest in her, but not to have any one to whom to entrust this she-goat; wherefore the more, in my distress, was I tormented with anxiety what to do. Meanwhile, a kid appeared to address me, and began to tell me that he had carried off the she-goat from the ape, and began to laugh at me.

But I began to lament and complain that she was carried off. To what reality I am to suppose that this vision points, I can’t discover; except that I suspect that I have just now discovered this she-goat, what she is, or what it all means.

This morning, at daybreak, I went away hence down to the harbour. After I had transacted there what I wanted, suddenly I espied the ship from Rhodes, in which my son arrived here yesterday. I had an inclination, I know not why, to visit it; I went on board a boat, and put off to the ship;

and there I beheld a woman of surpassing beauty, whom my son has brought as a maid-servant for his mother. After I had thus beheld her, I fell in love with her, not as men in their senses, but after the fashion in which madmen are wont. I’ faith, in former times, in my youthful days, I fell in love,

’tis true; but after this fashion, according as I’m now distracted, never. Now beyond a doubt, surely thus this matter stands; this is that she-goat. But what that ape and that kid mean, I’m afraid. One thing, i’ faith, I really do know for certain, that I’m undone for love; (to the AUDIENCE) consider yourselves the other point, what a poor creature I am[*].

But I’ll hold my tongue; lo! I see my neighbour; he’s coming out of doors.

Really I will have this goat mutilated, that’s giving us so much trouble at the farm.

Neither this omen nor this augury pleases me;

I’m afraid that my wife will be just now mutilating me like the he-goat, and be acting the part of this same ape.

Do you go hence to my country-house, and take care and deliver personally into his own hands those rakes to the bailiff Pistus himself. Take care and tell my wife that

I have business in the city, so that she mayn’t expect me; for do you mention that I have three causes coming on for judgment to-day. Be off, and remember to say this.

Anything more?

That’s enough.

Greetings to you, Lysimachus.

Well met! and greetings to you, Demipho. How are you? How goes it?

As with one that’s most wretched[*].

May the Gods grant better things.

As for the Gods, it’s they that do this.

What’s the matter?

I’d tell you, if I saw that you had time or leisure.

Although I have business in hand, if you wish for anything, Demipho, I’m never too busy to give attention to a friend.

You speak of your kindness to myself who have experienced it. How do I seem to you as to age?

A subject for Acheron—an antiquated, decrepit old fellow.

You see in a wrong light. I am a child, Lysimachus, of seven years old.

Are you in your senses, to say that you are a child?

I’m telling what’s true.

I’ faith, it has this moment come into my mind what you mean to say;

directly a person is old, no longer has he sense or taste; people say that he has become a child again.

Why, no; for I’m twice as hearty as ever I was before.