Curculio, or The Forgery (355-392)

He challenged me to play with him a game of hazard. I staked my cloak, he staked his ring against it; he called on the name[*] of Planesium.

What, my mistress?

Be silent a while. He threw a most losing cast[*]. I took up the dice, and invoked Hercules as my genial patron[*]; I threw a first-rate cast[*], and pledged him in a bumping cup; in return he drank it off,

reclined his head, and fell fast asleep. I slily took away from him the ring, and took my legs quietly from off the couch, so that the Captain mightn’t perceive it. The servants enquired whither I was going; I said that I was going whither persons when full are wont to go. When I beheld the door, at once on the instant I betook myself away from the place.

I commend you.

Commend me when I’ve brought this thing about which you desire. Now let’s go indoors, that we may seal the letter.

Do I delay you?

But let’s cram down something first, the gammon, the udder, and the kernels; these are the foundations for the stomach, with bread and roast beef, a good-sized cup and a capacious pot, that counsel enough may be forthcoming. Do you, yourself, seal the letter; he’ll do the honors (pointing to PALINURUS) while I am eating.

I’ll dictate after what fashion you’re to write. Follow me this way, in-doors.

I follow.

I seem to be in opulence; I’ve struck my balance, how much money I have, and how much I owe. I’m rich, if I don’t pay[*] those to whom I’m in debt. If I do pay those to whom I’m in debt, my debts are the greatest.

But really, upon my faith, when I carefully consider, if they press me hard, I’ll resort to the Praetor[*]. Most bankers have this habit, for one to borrow of the other, and to pay nobody, and to discharge the debt with their fists, if any one duns in a loudish tone.

The person that has[*] in a short time acquired wealth, unless in good time he saves it, in good time comes to starvation. I’d like to buy a servant for myself, who now, however, must be sought by me on hire[*]: there’s occasion for my ready money.

Don’t you be reminding me now I’m full; I recollect and understand.

I’ll render up to you all this cleverly carried out; do hold your peace. I’ faith, I’ve surely filled myself in-doors right well, and still in my stomach I’ve left room for one corner, in which to stow away the remnants of these remnants.

Who’s this that with covered head is saluting Aesculapius? Heyday, the very man I wanted. (To an ATTENDANT.) Follow me.

I’ll make pretence as though I didn’t know him. (Aloud.) Hark you; I want you.

One-eyed man[*], save you.