Curculio, or The Forgery (320-350)

You shall eat something just now.

I’ faith, I don’t want something; I’d rather have what’s fixed for certain, than your something.

Aye, but if you only knew what has been put by for you.

I’d very much like to know where it is; for really it’s necessary for it and my teeth to make acquaintance.

A gammon of bacon, a sow’s stomach, some udder and kernels of the throat.

What, all this do you say? Perhaps you mean that they are in the flesh-market?

In the dishes, I mean; they’ve been got ready for you, since we knew that you were about to arrive.

Take care you don’t be fooling me.

So may the fair one love me whom I love, I don’t say what’s false. But as to what I sent you upon I’m none the wiser yet.

I’ve brought back nothing.

You’ve undone me.

I can find something, if you’ll give me your attention. After, at your request, I had set out, I arrived in Caria;

I saw your friend; I asked him to make me a loan of some money. In answer, you were to know that he was willing to oblige you; he didn’t wish to disappoint you, as it is only proper that a person who is a friend should be ready, and should assist his friend. In a few words he answered me, and quite in confidence, that he also was in the same extreme want of money as yourself.

By your words you ensure my undoing.

Why no; I’m saving you, and wish you to be saved. After this answer was given me, I went away from him to the Forum, in sorrow that I had applied to him in vain. By accident I espied a military officer; this person I accosted, and as I approached I saluted him. Save you, said he to me, took my right hand, drew me aside, and asked me why I had come to Caria.

I said that I had come there for the sake of amusement. Upon this he asked me whether I knew a certain Lyco, a banker of Epidaurus. I said I knew him. Well, and the Procurer Cappadox? I answered yes, that I had seen him. But what do you want of him? said I. Because, said he, I bought of him a girl for thirty minae, her clothes and golden jewels too; and for these last ten minae more are added.

Have you paid the money? said I. No, said he; it is lodged with this Lyco the banker, whom I was mentioning, and I’ve instructed him that the person who should bring a letter sealed with my own ring, to him he was to give his services, that he might receive the damsel, with her jewels of gold and her clothes, from the Procurer. After he told me this, I was going away from him. At once he called me back,

invited me to dinner; it was a point of conscience, I was unwilling to refuse him. What if we go off home, and take our places at table? said he. The suggestion pleased me; it is neither proper to lengthen out the day, nor to curtail the night. Everything was prepared, and we, for whom it was prepared, were at our places. After we had dined and well drunk, he asked for the dice to be fetched him.