Scaife ATLAS

CTS Library / Asinaria, or The Ass-Dealer

Asinaria, or The Ass-Dealer (878-901b)

urn:cts:latinLit:phi0119.phi002.perseus-eng2:878-901b
Refs {'start': {'reference': '878', 'human_reference': 'Line 878'}, 'end': {'reference': '901b', 'human_reference': 'Line 901b'}}
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If perchance you were to see your husband reclining, if you beheld him with a garland on, caressing a mistress, could you recognize him?
ARTEMONA
I’ troth, I could.
A PARASITE
(points to the other end of the stage.)
Then there’s your man.
ARTEMONA
(moving stealthily forward with the PARASITE.)
I’m undone.
A PARASITE
Stay a little. Let’s observe in private, from ambush, what business they are about.
ARGYRIPPUS
What end will you put to your caresses, father?
DEMAENETUS
I confess, my son—
ARGYRIPPUS
What do you confess?
DEMAENETUS
That I’m utterly undone with love for her.
A PARASITE
(to ARTEMONA.)
Do you hear what he says?
ARTEMONA
I hear.
DEMAENETUS
(to PHILENIUM.)
Ought I not to filch the mantle from my wife at home,
which she is so fond of, and bring it to you? Though my wife’s life should last a whole year in consequence, by my troth I could not be dissuaded from doing so.
A PARASITE
(to ARTEMONA.)
Do you suppose that he has been accustomed to frequent a brothel to-day for the first time?
ARTEMONA
Upon my faith, it was he that was pilfering me; whereas I was suspecting my maid-servants, and was tormenting the wretched creatures who were innocent all the while.
ARGYRIPPUS
Father,
bid him pour out some wine; ’tis a long time since I drank first[*].
DEMAENETUS
(to the SERVANT.)
Begin, boy, from the top[*]. (To PHILENIUM.) Come, do you meanwhile from below give me a kiss.
(Kisses her.)
ARTEMONA
(to the PARASITE.)
Wretch that I am, I’m undone! How the villain, the garnishing of a bier[*], is kissing away.
DEMAENETUS
A breath, by my faith, somewhat sweeter than that of my wife.
PHILENIUM
Tell me, there’s a dear, does the breath of your wife smell bad?
DEMAENETUS
I’d prefer to drink bilge-water, if it were necessary, rather than kiss her.
ARTEMONA
(apart.)
Aye, pray, how say you? By my troth, to your own great detriment, you’ve surely said that against me. Never mind; only de you come home, I’ll let you know what danger there is in speaking abusively against a wife with a dowry.
PHILENIUM
By heavens, you are a wretch.
ARTEMONA(apart.)
I’ faith, he’s deserving so to be.
ARGYRIPPUS
How say you, father?
(Takes a draught in the meanwhile.)
Don’t you love my mother?
DEMAENETUS
Who—I? I love her just now, because she isn’t present.
ARGYRIPPUS
How, when she is present?
DEMAENETUS
Then, I wish she was dead.

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