Asinaria, or The Ass-Dealer (195b-235)

I’ll believe that you haven’t it—still, she shall go to another.

Where is that which I have given you already?

Spent; for if it was remaining to me, the damsel should be sent to you, and I should never ask for anything. Daylight, water, the sun, the moon, the night, these things I purchase not with money; the rest, whatever we wish to enjoy, we purchase on Grecian trust[*].

When we ask bread of the baker, wine from the wineshop—if they receive the money, they give their wares; the same principle do I go upon. My hands always have eyes in them; they believe what they see. There’s an old saying, trusting is good for nought[*]; you know whose it is—I say no more.

Now I’m clean stripped, you tell me another tale;

a very different one, I say, you give me now from formerly, when I was making presents; a different one from formerly, when with kindness and good words you used to entice me to your house. Then did your house even smile upon me, when I used to come to you. You used to say that I alone of all loved you and her. When I had given anything, just like the young ones of a pigeon were you both upon my lips;

and all your likings were according to my own liking. You always kept close to me; whatever I requested, whatever I wished, you used to do; what I didn’t wish and forbade, that, with carefulness, you used to avoid, nor did you first venture to attempt to do it. Now, you jades, you don’t much care either what I do wish or what I don’t wish.

Don’t you know? This calling of ours is very like that of the fowler. The fowler, when he has prepared the spot, sprinkles the food about. The birds are accustomed to the spot. ’Tis necessary for him[*] to make an outlay, who seeks for gain. They eat often; if they are caught once, they reimburse the fowler.

So in like manner here with us. Our house is the spot, I am the fowler, the courtesan is the food, the couch is the decoy, the lovers the birds. By kindly welcoming them, by addressing them courteously, by dallying, and by chattering over the wine, and amusing conversation, they are won. If one of them has touched her bosom, that is not without advantage to the fowler. If he has taken a kiss, him you may take without a net. That you should be forgetful of these things, you who have been schooled so long!

That’s your own fault, in turning away from you a scholar half instructed.

Come back again without hesitation, if you’ve got the pay; for the present, be off.

Stay, stay; don’t you hear me? Say what you think it fair that I should give you for her, that for this year she may be with no one else.

What, you? Twenty minae. And on this condition: if any other person shall bring them first to me, to you—good-bye.

But I— There’s still something that I wish to say to you before you go.

Say what you please.

I’m not entirely ruined yet; there’s still something more left for me to come to ruin. I have wherewithal to give you what you ask; but I’ll give it you on my own terms,

that you may be enabled to understand that throughout all this year she is to be at my service, and that, in the meantime, she is to admit no other man whatever to her, besides myself.