Philosophies for Sale (21-25)

Come here, my good fellow, and tell your buyer what you are like, and first of all whether you are not displeased with being sold and living in slavery?

Not at all, for these things are not in our control, and all that is not in our control is immaterial.

I don’t understand what you mean by this.

What, you do not understand that of such things some are “approved,” and some, to the contrary, “disapproved”’?[*]

Even now I do not understand.

Of course not, for you are not familiar with our vocabulary and have not the faculty of forming concepts; but a scholar who has mastered the science of logic knows not only this, but what predicaments and bye-predicaments are, and how they differ from each other.[*]

In the name of wisdom, don’t begrudge telling me

Indeed, I do not begrudge it at all. If a man who is lame dashes his lame foot against a stone and receives an unlooked-for injury, he was already in a predicament, of course, with his lameness, and with his injury he gets into a bye-predicament too.

Oh, what subtlety! And what else do you claim to know best?

The word-snares with which I entangle those who converse with me and stop their mouths and make them hold their peace, putting a very muzzle on them. This power is called the syllogism of wide renown.[*]

Heracles! An invincible and mighty thing, by what you say.

See for yourself. Have you a child?

What of it?

If a crocodile should seize it on finding it straying beside the river, and then should promise to give it back to you if you told him truly what he intended

Your question is hard to answer, for I don’t know which alternative I should follow in my reply, in order to get back the child. Come, in Heaven’s name answer it yourself and save the child for me, for fear the beast may get ahead of us and devour it!

Courage! I'll teach you other things that are more wonderful.

What are they?

The Reaper, the Master,[*] and above all, the Electra and the Veiled Figure.

What do you mean by the Veiled Figure and the Electra?

The Electra is the famous Electra, the daughter of Agamemnon, who at once knew and did not know the same thing; for when Orestes stood beside her before the recognition she knew that Orestes was

Yes.

But if I put a veiled figure before you and asked you if you know him, what will you say?

That I don’t, of course.

But the veiled figure turns out to be your own father; so if you don’t know him, you evidently don’t know your own father.

Not so: I should unveil him and find out the truth! But to go on—what is the purpose of your wisdom, and what shall you do when you reach the summit of virtue?

I shall then devote myself to the chief natural goods, I mean wealth, health, and the like.[*] But first I must go through many preparatory toils, whetting my eyesight with closely-written books,

These projects of yours are noble and dreadfully courageous. But tobe a Gnipho and a usurer—for I see that this is one of your traits too—what shall we say of this? That it is the mark of a man who has already taken his hellebore-treatment and is consumuinate in virtue?

Yes; at any rate money-lending is especially appropriate to a wise man, for as drawing inferences is a specialty of his, and as money-lending and drawing interest is next-door to drawing inferences, the one, like the other, belongs particularly to the scholar: and not only getting simple interest, like other people, but interest upon interest. For don’t you know that there is a first interest and a second interest, the offspring,[*] as it were, of the first? And you surely perceive what logic says: “If he gets the first interest, he will get the second; but he will get the first, ergo he will get the second.”

Then we are to say the same of the fees that you get for your wisdom from young men, and obviously none but the scholar will get paid for his virtue?

Your understanding of the matter is correct. You see, I donot take pay on my own account, but for the sake of the giver himself: for since there are two classes of men, the disbursive and the receptive, I train myself to be receptive and my pupil to be disbursive.

On the contrary, the young man ought to be receptive and you, who alone are rich, disbursive!

You are joking, man. Look out that I don’t shoot you with my indemonstrable syllogism.[*]

What have I to fear from that shaft?

Perplexity and aphasia and a sprained intellect.

But the great thing is that if I wish I can turn you into a stone forthwith.

How will you turn me into a stone? You are not a Perseus, I think, my dear fellow.

In this way. Isa stone a substance?

Yes.

And how about this—is not an animal a substance?

Yes.

And you are an animal?

So it appears, anyhow.

Then you are a substance, and therefore a stone!

Don’t say that! Distribute my middle, for Heaven’s sake, and make me a man again.

That is not difficult. Be a man once more!—Tell me, is every substance an animal?

No.

Well, is a stone an animal?

No.

You are a substance?

Yes.

But even if you are a substance, you are an animal.

Yes.

Then you are not a stone, being an animal.

Thank you kindly; my legs were already as cold and solid as Niobe’s. Iwill buy you. (Zo uunmes.) How much have I to pay for him?

Twelve minas.

Here you are.

Are you the sole purchaser?

No, indeed; there are all these men whom you see.

Yes, there are many of them, heavy-shouldered fellows, fit associates for the Reaper.