To Demonicus (26-30)

Consider it equally disgraceful to be outdone by your enemies in doing injury and to be surpassed by your friends in doing kindness.[*] Admit to your companionship, not those alone who show distress at your reverses, but those also who show no envy at your good fortune; for there are many who sympathize with their friends in adversity, but envy them in prosperity.[*] Mention your absent friends to those who are with you, so that they may think you do not forget them, in their turn, when they are absent.

In matters of dress, resolve to be a man of taste, but not a fop. The man of taste is marked by elegance, the fop by excess. Set not your heart on the excessive acquisition of goods, but on a moderate enjoyment of what you have. Despise those who strain after riches, but are not able to use what they have; they are in like case with a man who, being but a wretched horseman, gets him a fine mount.

Try to make of money a thing to use as well as to possess; it is a thing of use to those who understand how to enjoy it, and a mere possession to those who are able only to acquire it. Prize the substance you have for two reasons—that you may have the means to meet a heavy loss and that you may go to the aid of a worthy friend when he is in distress; but for your life in general, cherish your possessions not in excess but in moderation.

Be content with your present lot, but seek a better one. Taunt no man with his misfortune for fate is common to all and the future is a thing unseen. Bestow your favors on the good; for a goodly treasury is a store of gratitude laid up in the heart of an honest man. If you benefit bad men, you will have the same reward as those who feed stray dogs; for these snarl alike at those who give them food and at the passing stranger; and just so base men wrong alike those who help and those who harm them.[*]

Abhor flatterers as you would deceivers; for both, if trusted, injure those who trust them. If you admit to your friendship men who seek your favor for the lowest ends, your life will be lacking in friends who will risk your displeasure for the highest good. Be affable in your relations with those who approach you, and never haughty; for the pride of the arrogant even slaves can hardly endure, whereas when men are affable all are glad to bear with their ways.