Truculentus, or The Churl (812b-855)

He can do the most, who is strong the most. He was a man; he was the strongest; he prevailed; what he wanted, he carried off.

And, i’ faith, he too brought a heavy mishap, in fact, upon yourself.

The thing itself experienced, I myself fully know that, even if you had held your tongue.

Never, this day, have I been able to made you declare who he was.

I’ve held my tongue; but now I shan’t hold my tongue, since he’s here; it’s necessary I should tell.

I’m petrified; in my wretchedness, I dare not move myself; the matter’s all out! The trial’s now going on here for my life!

These are my misdeeds, this is my folly. I’m in dread how soon I may be named.

Speak out, who was it, debauched my maiden daughter?

I see him near you.
A supporter of the wall[*].

Hussy, who was it?[*]

I’m neither alive nor dead, nor know I what I am now to do; neither know I how to go away hence, nor how to accost him; I’m numbed with fear.

Will you tell me, or no?

It is Dinarchus, to whom you first betrothed her.

Where is this person whom you mention?

Here I am, Callicles. (Falling on the ground.) By your knees I do entreat you that you will bear with wisdom that which was done in folly; and that you will pardon me that, which, losing my senses, I did through the bad influence of wine.

You please me not. You throw the blame on what is dumb[*], that which cannot speak.

But the wine, if it could speak, would defend itself. It’s not wine that’s in the habit of ruling men, but men wine; those, indeed, who are virtuous men; but he who is bad, although he drinks water, or if indeed he abstains from intoxicating liquors, still, by nature he’s bad.

Well, I’m sensible that many reproaches must be heard by me, which I would prefer not.

I confess that I’ve offended you, and am privy to the crime.

Callicles, prithee beware that you do injury to no person; the accused is pleading his cause at large, the witnesses you are keeping in bonds.

Release those women. (They are unbound.) Come (to each of them in turn), do you be off home, and you home as well. (To SYRA.) Tell your mistress this: she must give up the child, if any one asks for it. (SYRA goes into the house of PHRONESIUM, and exit the MAID-SERVANT.)

You, Dinarchus, let’s go before the judge.

Why do you wish me to go before the judge? You are the Praetor to me. But I entreat of you, Callicles, that you’ll give me your daughter for a wife.

I’ faith, I find, indeed, that you’ve come to a decision on that point yourself; for you haven’t waited till I gave her; you have helped yourself. Now keep her, as you’ve got her, but I’ll fine you this grand haul;

six great talents will I deduct from her dowry for this folly.

You act kindly towards me.

’Twere best for you to demand your son back from thence. (Pointing to the house of PHRONESIUM.) But your wife, as soon as possible, take away from my house. I shall at once, therefore, send a messenger to that kinsman of mine by marriage, and tell him to look out for another match for his son.

But I’ll demand back the child of her, lest by-and-by she should deny it. That’s of no use; for she herself, of her own accord, has discovered the whole matter to me, how it happened. But see, right opportunely, i’ faith, is she coming out of doors from her house. Assuredly, a far-darting sting has that woman, who even from that distance is wounding my heart.

A woman is a spoony and a trolloping slut, if she hasn’t a view to her own interests, even in her cups.

If her other limbs are soaked in wine, at least let her head be sober. But it’s a vexation to me that my hair-dresser has been thus badly treated. She has been telling me that this child has been discovered to be the son of Dinarchus. When I heard that ⋯(She moves, as if going.)