Trinummus: The Three Pieces of Money (602b-637)

That Lesbonicus, the son of my master, has betrothed his sister; in those terms.

To what person has he betrothed her?

To Lysiteles, the son of Philto; without a portion, too.

Without a portion, will he marry her into a family so rich[*]? You are telling me a thing not to be credited.

Why, faith, you would be for never believing. If you don’t believe this, at all events I shall be believing—

What?

That I don’t care a fig for your belief.

How long since, or where, was this matter agreed to?

On this very spot—here, before his door (pointing to PHILTO’S house). This moment-like[*], as the man of Praeneste says.

And has Lesbonicus, amid his ruined fortunes, become so much more frugal than in his prosperous circumstances?

Why, in fact, Philto himself came of his own accord to make the offer for his son.

By my troth, it really will be a disgrace, if a portion is not given to the maiden. In fine, I think, i’ faith, that that matter concerns myself. I will go to my corrector, and will ask advice of him.

I pretty nearly guess, and I have a strong suspicion, why he makes such speed on this: namely, that he may turn Lesbonicus out of his bit of land, after he has turned him out of his house. O Charmides, my master! since your property here is being torn to pieces in your absence, I wish I could see you return safe, that you might both take vengeance on your enemies, and give the reward to me according as I have behaved, and do behave towards you.

’Tis an extremely difficult thing for a friend to be found really such as the name imports, to whom, when you have entrusted your interests, you may sleep without any care. But lo! I perceive our son-in-law[*] coming, together with his neighbour. Something—what, I know not—is wrong between them. They are walking, each with a hasty step; the one is catching the other that is before him by the cloak.

They have come to a stop in no very courteous fashion. I’ll step aside here a little distance. I have a wish to hear the conversation of these two that are to be connected by marriage.

Stay, this moment; don’t turn away, and don’t hide yourself from me.

Can’t you allow me to go whither I was proceeding?

If, Lesbonicus, it seems to be to your interest, either for your glory or for your honour, I will let you go.

You are doing a thing that it is very easy to do.

What is that?

An injury to a friend.

It is no way of mine, and I have not learned so to do.

Untaught as you are, how cleverly you do it. What would you have done, if any one had taught you to be thus annoying to me? You, who, when you pretend to be acting kindly to me, use me ill, and are intending evil.

What!—I?

Yes—you.

How do I use you ill?

Inasmuch as you do that which I do not wish.

I wish to consult your advantage.

Are you kinder to me than I am to myself? I have sense enough; I see sufficiently well those things that are for my own advantage.

And is it having sense enough to refuse a kindness from a well-wisher?