Stichus, or The Parasite Rebuffed (665-704)

there, too, is my master. This was given me as a present.

How? Are you dreaming?

I’ faith, I’m telling you the truth.

Who then gave you this?

What matters that to you?

I wish us this day to wash away everything of foreign climes.

Leave them alone; let’s now attend to Athens; follow me.

Do you at once make haste, and bathe.

I have bathed.

Very good follow me, then, this. way in-doors, Sagarinus.

Of course, I follow. By my troth, this beginning pleases me as I return home; a happy omen and augury[*] has met me in my path.

I wish that it may appear wondrous to no one of you, Spectators,

why I who live there (pointing to the house of PAMPHILUS) am come out hither from this other house: I’ll inform you thereon. Just now was I sent for to this house by the back way. For as soon as news was brought that the husbands of these ladies were about to come, we all hurried thither. We attended to laying the couches, and setting all in order. Still, amid these duties, I had a care for my friends,

Stichus and my fellow-servant Sagarinus, that their dinner should be cooked. Stichus has been caterer; but for cooking it, I’ve appointed one my deputy. Now, I’ll be off hence, and attend to my friends, who, I see, are coming here.

Come, out of doors with you; lead on the procession[*]. Stichus, I appoint you commander of the cask. I’m resolved to prove our banquet in every fashion this day.

So may the Gods love me, we are well entertained in being feasted in this place. I will that each person that passes by shall be invited to join the banquet.

Agreed, so long only as, i’ faith, each man comes with his own wine[*]; for of this, a mouthful shall be given to no person but ourselves, this day. Eating alone[*], let’s wait upon ourselves.

This banquet,

for our means, is quite sufficient, with its nuts, beans, figs[*], a dish of olives, pounded lupines, and a cake.

It better becomes a man who is a slave to bring his expenses within moderation than beyond. Each one to his own station; they, who have wealth at home, drink from cups, goblets, and bowls; we, if we are now

drinking from our Samian jug[*], still build our walls according to our means.

But while she who is your mistress and mine is arranging her hair, and bedecking herself, I wish us to have some diversion among ourselves. I appoint you the commander[*] of this feast.

Very aptly does it suggest itself to your mind.

Wouldn’t we be more suitably[*] entertained like Cynics[*] on benches here, than upon couches?