Stichus, or The Parasite Rebuffed (625-673)

I’ll go there even.

Immortal Gods! really, by my troth, this fellow might be induced by a dinner or a breakfast to bear extreme torture.

Such is my nature; with anything can I struggle much more easily than with hunger.

I know it: at my house

full long enough has this facility of yours been experienced by me ⋯

while you were the Parasite of myself and my brother, we ruined our fortunes.

Now I don’t wish you to be made by me from a Gelasimus into a Catagelasimus[*].

And are you gone now? Surely he is gone. Now have I need of a wise resolution. Both are gone; consider, Gelasimus, what plan you must adopt. ⋯ What, I? Yes, you. What, for myself? Yes, for yourself. Don’t you see how dear provisions are? Don’t you see how the kindness and the heartiness of men have vanished? Don’t you see how drolls are set at nought, and how they themselves are sponged upon?

By my troth, not a person shall ever behold me alive on the morrow; for, this instant, in-doors will I load my throat with a bulrush dose[*]. And by this I shall not give cause for men to say that I died of hunger.

Foolishly and unwisely is it done in my opinion, if people are in the habit, if they are expecting a person; of looking out for him; faith, ne doesn’t on that account come a bit the faster. I’m now doing that same thing, in looking out for Sagarinus;

who, still, for that reason won’t come a jot the faster. Troth, I shall just now be taking my place alone, if he doesn’t come here. I’ll now fetch that cask of wine hither from home, and then I’ll take my place. The day, like snow, is melting away apace.

Hail! Athens, thou nurse of Greece;

country of my master, hail! How joyously do I behold thee. But I have a wish to see how my mistress and fellow-servant, Stephanium, is faring. For I bade Stichus to give her my regards, and to tell her that I should come to-day, so that she might cook a dinner in good time.

But, surely, here’s Stichus.

A clever thing you did, master, when you presented your servant, Stichus, with this gift. O ye immortal Gods! how many delights do I carry, how many smiles, how many jokes, how many a kiss, dancing, dalliance, and good-fellowship.

Stichus,

how fare you?

Right well, Sagarinus, most delightfully; I’m bringing Dionysus[*], as my guest and yours. For, i’ faith, the dinner’s cooked; free range has been given me and you at your house. For at our house there’s an entertainment; your master’s dining there with his wife, and Antipho as well;

there, too, is my master. This was given me as a present.

How? Are you dreaming?

I’ faith, I’m telling you the truth.

Who then gave you this?

What matters that to you?

I wish us this day to wash away everything of foreign climes.

Leave them alone; let’s now attend to Athens; follow me.

Do you at once make haste, and bathe.

I have bathed.

Very good follow me, then, this. way in-doors, Sagarinus.

Of course, I follow. By my troth, this beginning pleases me as I return home; a happy omen and augury[*] has met me in my path.

I wish that it may appear wondrous to no one of you, Spectators,