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CTS Library / Mostellaria, or The Haunted House

Mostellaria, or The Haunted House (747-793)

urn:cts:latinLit:phi0119.phi013.perseus-eng2:747-793
Refs {'start': {'reference': '747', 'human_reference': 'Line 747'}, 'end': {'reference': '793', 'human_reference': 'Line 793'}}
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Now as to this about which our old gentleman has sent me.
SIMO
First answer me this that I ask you. As yet, has your old gentleman discovered anything of these matters?
TRANIO
Nothing whatever.
SIMO
Has he censured his son at all?
TRANIO
He is as calm as the calm weather is wont to be. Now he has requested me most earnestly to beg this of you, that leave may be given him to see over this house of yours.
SIMO
It’s not for sale.
TRANIO
I know that indeed; but the old gentleman
wishes to build a woman’s apartment[*] here in his own house, baths, too, and a piazza, and a porch.
SIMO
What has he been dreaming of?
TRANIO
I’ll tell you. He wishes to give his son a wife as soon as he can; for that purpose he wants a new apartment for the women.
But he says that some builder, I don’t know who, has been praising up to him this house of yours, as being remarkably well built; now he’s desirous to take a model from it, if you don’t make any objection—
SIMO
Indeed, he is really choosing a plan for himself from a piece of poor workmanship.
TRANIO
It was because he heard that here the summer heat was much modified; that this house was wont to be inhabited each day all day long.
SIMO
Why really, upon my faith, on the contrary, while there’s shade in every direction, in spite of it, the sun is always here from morning till night: he stands, like a dun, continually at the door; and I have no shade anywhere, unless, perhaps, there may be some in the well.
TRANIO
Well now, have you one from Sarsina, if you have no woman of Umbria[*]?
SIMO
Don’t be impertinent. It is just as I tell you.
TRANIO
Still, he wishes to look over it.
SIMO
He may look over it, if he likes. If there is anything that takes his fancy, let him build after my plan.
TRANIO
Am I to go and call this person hither?
SIMO
Go and call him.
TRANIO
(to himself, as he goes to the other side of the stage to call THEUROPIDES.)
They say that Alexander the Great and Agathocles[*] achieved two very great exploits; what shall be the lot of myself, a third, who, unaided, am achieving deeds imperishable? This old fellow is carrying his pack-saddle, the other one, as well. I’ve hit upon a novel trade for myself, not a bad one;
whereas muleteers have mules to carry pack-saddles; I’ve got men to carry the pack-saddles. They are able to carry heavy burdens; whatever you put upon them, they carry. Now, I don’t know whether I am to address him. I’ll accost him, however. (Calling aloud.) Hark you, Theuropides!
THEUROPIDES
(coming forward.)
Well; who’s calling me?
TRANIO
A servant most attached to his master.
Where you sent me, I got it all agreed to.
THEUROPIDES
Prithee, why did you stay there so long?
TRANIO
The old gentleman hadn’t leisure; I was waiting until then.
THEUROPIDES
You keep up that old way of yours, of being tardy.
TRANIO
Hark you! if you please reflect upon this proverb: to blow and swallow[*] at the same moment isn’t easy to be done; I couldn’t be here and there at the same time.
THEUROPIDES
What now?

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