Miles Gloriosus, or The Braggart Captain (979-1009c)

Do you wish to pack her off forthwith, that she may quit you with a good grace?

I do so wish.

Then this is the thing you must do. You have a superabundance of wealth; bid the woman to keep as a present for herself the gold and trinkets which you have supplied her with, and to take herself off from your house wherever she likes.

It pleases me what you say; but yet, only think, if I should lose her, and the other change her mind?

Pshaw! you’re over nice; a lady, that loves you as her own eyes.

Venus befriends me.

Hist! hush! the door is opening; come this way a little out of sight. (MILPHIDIPPA comes out of the house of PERIPLECOMENUS.) This is her fly-boat—her go-between, that’s coming out there.

How so—fly-boat?

This is her maid that is coming out of the house, she that brought that ring which I delivered to you.

I’ faith, she too is a prettyish wench.

This one is a little monkey and an owl[*] in comparison with the other.

Do you see how she hunts around with her eyes, and goes fowling about with her ears.

My Circus, then[*], is before the house, where my sports are to take place. I’ll make pretence, as though I didn’t see them, or knew as yet that they are here.

Hush! let’s quietly listen, whether any mention is made of me.

Is there no one near at hand here, to attend to another’s business rather than his own?—

to prowl after[*] me to see what I’m about? No one who is feeding this evening[*] at his own expense? I dread such men as these, lest they should now come in the way, or prove an hindrance somehow, should my mistress privately pass from her house this way, who is so enamoured of his person, who so dotes upon this very charming man with his exceeding beauty—the Captain Pyrgopolinices

And doesn’t she dote upon me, too? She is praising my beauty.

I’ faith, her language stands in need of no ashes[*].[*]

For what reason?

Why, because her language is clean spoken and far from slovenly.

Whatever she says about yourself, she handles it in no slovenly way.

And, then, besides, she herself is a very pretty and a very dainty wench.

Troth, indeed, she has made an impression already, Palaestrio, at first sight.

What! before you have seen the other with your eyes?

What I see, in that I have faith for myself; for this mackerel [*], in the absence of the mullet, compels me to be in love with her.

I’ faith, you really mustn’t be falling in love with her, she’s engaged to me. If the other weds you to-day, forthwith I shall take this one for my wife.

Why, then, do you delay to accost her?

Follow me this way, then.

I am your lackey at your heels[*].

I wish that I had an opportunity of meeting him on account of whom I came here out of doors.