Scaife ATLAS

CTS Library / Miles Gloriosus, or The Braggart Captain

Miles Gloriosus, or The Braggart Captain (763b-800)

urn:cts:latinLit:phi0119.phi012.perseus-eng2:763b-800
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I have not said a hundredth part of what I could have enlarged upon had there been leisure for the matter.
PALAESTRIO
The business, then, that we are aboutto that we ought first to turn our thoughts. Do you both, now, give me your attention. I have need, Periplecomenus, of your assistance; for I have hit upon a pleasant trick, how this Captain with his long locks may be fleeced quite close[*], and how we may effect a means for Philocomasium, and this her lover,
that he may carry her off hence, and have her as his own.
PERIPLECOMENUS
I wish this plan to be imparted to me.
PALAESTRIO
And I, wish that ring of yours to be imparted to me.
PERIPLECOMENUS
For what purpose is it to be used?
PALAESTRIO
When I have got it, I will impart the plan of my devices.
PERIPLECOMENUS
Take and use it. (Gives him the ring.)
PALAESTRIO
Take from me in return the plan of my contrivance that I have hit upon.
PERIPLECOMENUS
We are listening to you with most attentive ear.
PALAESTRIO
My master is such a shocking rake among the women, that I think no one ever was his equal, nor ever will be.
PERIPLECOMENUS
I believe the same as well.
PALAESTRIO
He boasts, too, that his beauty exceeds that of Alexander [*]; and, therefore, he says that all the women[*] in Ephesus of their own accord are courting him.
PERIPLECOMENUS
Aye, faith, many there are who could wish[*] that you were now telling an untruth about him.
But I am convinced full well that it is as you say. For that reason, Palaestrio, do compress your words in as short a compass as ever you possibly can.
PALAESTRIO
Can you, then, find any woman of agreable person, whose mind and body are full of merriment and subtlety?
PERIPLECOMENUS
Free by birth, or bondwoman made free?
PALAESTRIO
I consider that a matter of indifference, so that
you find one who is greedy for gain, who supports her body by her charms, who has, too, her senses all awake; as for her heart, that cannot be so, as none of them have one.
PERIPLECOMENUS
Do you want one that has[*] taken her degrees, or one as yet a novice in the art?
PALAESTRIO
One sober but plump[*], a juicy bit; as taking a one as ever you can find, and one very young.
PERIPLECOMENUS
Why, I have one, a dependant of mine, a courtesan, a very young woman.
But what is the occasion for her?
PALAESTRIO
For you to bring her home at once to your house as your wife, and, for that reason, to bring her there dressed out, so that she may wear her locks with her hair arranged, and fillets after the fashion of matrons[*], and may pretend that she is your wife; so you must instruct her.
PERIPLECOMENUS
I am at a loss what road you are taking.
PALAESTRIO
Well, you shall know. But what sort of a maid has she?
PERIPLECOMENUS
She is a rare clever one.
PALAESTRIO
We have need of her as well; so give your instructions to the damsel and her maid, to pretend that she is your wife and is doting upon this Captain; and as though she had given this ring to her maid, then she to me, that I might deliver it to the Captain; and I must be as though it were a go-between in this matter.
PERIPLECOMENUS
I hear you; dont stun my ears as if I were deaf.
PALAESTRIO
I myself will go straightway to him; Ill say that it has been brought and delivered to me from your wife, in order that I might introduce her to him. Hell be distractedly longing for her at home, a scoundrel that cares for nothing else whatever but intriguing.

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