Miles Gloriosus, or The Braggart Captain (259b-285)

Only, be off in-doors.

I’m off.

And I’ll go home, too;

and I’ll conceal the fact that I am giving her my aid in seeking out the man, which fellow-servant of mine it was, that to-day was following the monkey. For it cannot be but in his conversation he must have made some one of the household acquainted about the lady of his master, how that he himself has seen her next door here toying with some stranger spark.

I know the habit myself; I can’t hold my tongue on that which I know alone. If I find out the person who saw it, I’ll plant against him all my mantelets[*] and covered works. The material is prepared; ’tis a sure matter that I must take this person by force, and by thus besieging him. If so I don’t find the man, just like a hound I’ll go smelling about, even until I shall have traced out the fox by his track.

But our door makes a noise: I’ll lower my voice; for here is the keeper of Philocomasium, my fellow-servant, coming out of doors.

Unless, in fact, I have been walking this day in my sleep upon the tiles, i’ faith, I know for sure that I have seen here, at our neighbour’s next door, Philocomasium, the lady of my master, on the high road[*] to mischief to herself.

’Twas he that saw her billing, so far as I have heard him say.

Who’s that?

Your fellow-servant. How are you, Sceledrus?

I am glad that I have met you, Palaestrio.

What now? Or what’s the matter? Let me know.

I’m afraid.

What are you afraid of?

By my troth, lest, this day, as many domestics as there are of us here, we shall jump into a most woful punishmient by way of torture.

Jump you alone, please;

for I don’t at all like this jumping in[*] and jumping out.

Perhaps you don’t know what new mischance has happened at home?

What mischance is this?

A disgraceful one.

Do you then keep it to yourself alone: don’t tell it me; I don’t want to know it.

But I won’t let you not know it. To-day I was following our monkey upon the tiles, next door there.

By my troth, Sceledrus, a worthless fellow, you were following a worthless beast.