Casina, or The Stratagem Defeated (225-247b)

who, since I’ve been in love with Casina, more than in my young days have excelled Neatness herself in neatness; I give employment to all the perfumers; wherever an unguent is excellent, I perfume myself, that I may please her. And I do please her, as I think. But inasmuch as she keeps living on, my wife’s a torment. (Catches sight of his WIFE, and speaks in a low voice.) I espy her standing there in gloominess. This plaguy baggage must be addressed by me with civility. (Going towards her.) My own wife and my delight, what are you about?

Get you gone, and keep your hand off!

O fie! my Juno. You shouldn’t be so cross to your own Jupiter. Where art come now?

Let me alone. (Moves as if going.)

Do stay.

I shan’t stay.

I’ troth, then I’ll follow you. (Follows her.)

Prithee, are you in your senses?

In my senses, inasmuch as I love you.

I don’t want you to love me.

You can’t have your way there.

You plague me to death.

I only wish you spoke the truth.

There I believe you. (Moves on.)

Do look back, O my sweet one.

About as much, I suppose, as you are to me. Whence is this strong smell of perfumes, prithee?

O dear, I’m undone; to my misfortune, I’m caught in the fact. Why delay to rub it off my head with my cloak? (Rubs his head with his cloak.) May good Mercury[*] confound you, you perfumer, who provided me with this.

How now, you worthless grey gnat![*] I can hardly restrain myself from saying what you deserve.

In your old age, good-for-nothing, are you walking along the streets reeking with perfumes?

I’ faith, I lent my company to a certain friend of mine, while he was purchasing some perfumes.

How readily he did trump that up. Are you ashamed of anything?

Of everything that you like.

In what dens of iniquity have you been lying?

I, in dens of iniquity?

I know more than you think I do.

What is it that you know?

That not one among all the old men is more worthless than yourself, an old man.

Whence come you, good-for-nothing? Where have you been? In what den amusing yourself? Where have you been drinking? You are come, on my word; look at his cloak, how it’s creased. (Points at it.)

May the Gods confound both me and yourself, if I this day have put a drop of wine into my mouth.

Very well then; just as you like: