Bacchides, or The Twin Sisters (638ab-670)

Nonsense.

Do stay.

What’s the matter?

Why, I see Chrysalus here, your main resource.

It’s right this man (pointing to himself) should be worth his weight[*] in gold: it’s fair that a statue of gold should be erected for him. For, this day, two exploits have I achieved; with twofold spoils have I been graced. So cleverly have I gulled my elder master this day, that he has been made a fool of. The crafty old blade, by my crafty tricks, have I compelled and constrained to believe me in everything.

Then, for the son of the old gentleman, my master here in love, together with whom I drink, with whom I eat and go a-courting, I have procured regal and golden trea sures, that he may take from thence at home, and not go seeking abroad. Those Parmenos[*] and those Syruses,

please me not, who filch some two or three minae from their masters. There’s nothing more worthless than a servant without skill—worthless, if he has not a breast mightily well-stocked, so that, whenever there is necessity, he may draw his supply from his own breast. No one can be a person well to do ⋯

unless he understands both how to do good and how to do evil. With rogues he must be a rogue; with thieves let him filch whatever he can. It befits him who is truly wise, to be a person that can shift his very skin[*].

Good with the good let him be, bad with the bad: just as things are, so let him ever frame his humour. But I should like to know how much gold my master has taken for himself, and what he has given up to his father.

If he is a prudent person, he has made a Hercules[*] of his parent: he has given him the tenth part, and has kept back nine for himself. But, see! the person whom I was looking for; he meets me most opportunely. (To MNESILOCHUS.) Has any of your money fallen down, my master, that thus, in silence, you are looking down upon the ground?

Why do I see you two sad and sorrowful?

I like it not; and ’tis not without some reason. Are you going now to give me any answer?