Asinaria, or The Ass-Dealer (621-648c)

One who would have been a protector to you, you have lost.

I’ faith, I surely haven’t lost one; for this reason, be cause I never had one.

Health to you, Philenium.

What you desire, the Gods will give you.

I could desire your favours, and a cask of wine, if wishes were to come to pass.

Whip-knave, beware how you speak a word.

Why, ’tis for you, not for myself, I wish it.

For that reason, then, say on what you please.

Troth, I’d like to give him a beating.

Who, pray, would allow you to do so, you frizzle- pated[*] mountebank? Could you thrash me, you, who reckon as your daily food your own thrashings?

How far superior, Libanus, are your lots to my own,

who never will live this day until the evening.

For what reason, prithee?

Because I’m in love with her, and she’s in love with me, and nowhere have I anything to bestow upon her; for that reason has her mother expelled me with all my affection from her house. The twenty minae of silver have brought me to my end, which the young man, Diabolus, declared that he would give her this day,

in order that she mightn’t send her anywhere, for this whole year, except to himself. Don’t you see of what force are twenty minae of silver, or what they can effect? The man who parts with them is happy; I, who part not with them, am undone.

Has he already paid[*] the money?

He hasn’t paid it.

Be of good courage; don’t be afraid.

Step this way, Libanus, I want you.

Certainly, if you want anything.

I entreat of you,

is it more pleasant in this same matter for you to discourse hugging one another?

Understand, master, that all things are not equally sweet to all persons. ’Tis pleasant for you lovers to converse, hugging one another; I care nothing for his hugging (pointing to LEONIDA), and (pointing to PHILENIUM) she despises mine. Do you then yourself do that which you would be suggesting to us to do.

Indeed I will, and really with pleasure, i’ faith. (Placing his arm round PHILENIUM’S neck.) In the meantime, if it seems good to you, do you step aside there.

Should you like our master to be bantered a bit?

He really is deserving of it.

Should you like me, in his presence, to make Philenium embrace me?

I’ faith, I should like it.

Follow me this way.

Is there any escape at all? Have you conversed enough?