Asinaria, or The Ass-Dealer (280-302)

He’ll be deserting his master in the siege; he’ll be increasing the courage of the foe. But if with me he is desirous to seize hold upon this opportunity which has presented itself, very great bounties brimful of joyousness, will he, together with myself, be producing for his masters, both for the son and the father. So that, for life, they will be indebted to us both,

bound by our services.

He’s talking of persons being bound[*], I don’t know who. I don’t like it; I fear for us in common, lest he may have been cheating in some cheatery.

I’m utterly undone, unless I find Libanus at once, wherever in the world he is.

This fellow’s looking out for an accomplice, to unite with himself in a bad design. I don’t like it: ’tis a portentous sign that instant, when a person trembles that sweats[*].

But why, as I hasten, do I loiter here with my feet, and make myself so bounteous with my tongue? Why don’t I bid it be quiet, that in its talkativeness is wearing out the day?

Upon my faith, an unfortunate man, to check his patroness; for if he has done anything roguishly, his tongue perjures itself in his behalf.

I’ll make haste, lest I should be providing a safe keeping for my spoil too late.

What spoil is this? I’ll go meet him, and enquire what it is. (He accosts him.) I wish you health in as loud a voice as my strength admits of.

Exerciser of the whip, health to you.

Keeper of the gaol, how do you do?

Ha! colonizer of the chains.

Ha! delight of the scourges.

When naked, how many pounds do you say you are in weight?

Upon my faith, I don’t know.

I know that you don’t know; but, i’ faith, I who have weighed you do know. Tied up naked, you were a hundred pounds in weight, when you were hanging with your feet downwards.

On what evidence is that?