Amphitryon, or Jupiter in Disguise (861-929c)

I am that Amphitryon, whose servant Sosia is the same that becomes Mercury when there is occasion—I, who dwell in the highest story[*], who sometimes, when it pleases me, become Jupiter.

But, hither soon as ever I turn my steps, I become Amphitryon that moment, and I change my garb. Now hither am I come for the sake of a compliment to you, that I may not leave this Comedy incomplete. I’ve come as well to bring assistance to Alcmena, whom, guiltless woman, her husband

Amphitryon is accusing of dishonor. For what I myself have brought about, if that undeservedly should fall as an injury upon her in her innocence, it would be my blame. Now, as I have already begun, I’ll again pretend that I am Amphitryon,

and this day will I introduce extreme confusion into this household. Then afterwards, at last, I’ll cause the matter to be disclosed, and to Alcmena timely aid will I bring, and will cause that at one birth she shall bring forth, without pangs[*], both the child with which she is pregnant by her husband and that with which she is pregnant by myself.

I have ordered Mercury forthwith to follow me, if I should wish to give him any commands. Now will I accost her.

I cannot remain in the house. That I should be thus accused by my husband of dishonor, incontinence, and disgrace! he cries aloud that things which have been done, have really not been done;

and of things which have not been done, and of which I have not been guilty, he accuses me, and supposes that I shall treat it with indifference. By heavens, I will not do so, nor will I allow myself to be falsely charged with dishonor; but rather I’ll either leave him, or make him give satisfaction and swear as well[*]

that he wishes unsaid the things which he has alleged against me in my innocence.

This must be done by me, which she requires to be done, if I wish for her to receive me into her company as loving her: since that which I have done, that same conduct has proved to the detriment of Amphitryon, and since my love has already created trouble for him who is really

guiltless, why now his wrath and his resentment towards her shall fall on me that am not accused.

And lo! I see him, who just now was accusing wretched me of incontinence and dishonor.

Wife, I would discourse with you. (She turns from him.) Why turn yourself away?

Such is my disposition;

I always hate to look upon my enemies.

Heyday! enemies indeed[*]!

It is so, I speak the truth; unless you are going to allege that this is falsely said as well.

You are too angry.

Can’t you keep your hands off? For surely if you were wise, or quite in your senses,

with her, whom you deem and pronounce to be unchaste, you would neither hold discourse, in mirth or in seriousness, unless, indeed, you are more foolish than the most foolish.

If I did say so, not a bit the more are you so, nor do I think you so, and therefore have I returned hither that I might excuse myself to you.

For never has anything proved more grievous to my feelings than when I heard that you were angry with me. Why did you charge me? you will say. I’ll tell you; by my troth, not that I deemed you to be unchaste; but I was trying your feelings,

what you would do, and in what manner you would bring yourself to bear it. Really, I said these things to you just now in jest, for the sake of the joke. Do but ask Sosia this.

But why don’t you bring here my kinsman, Naucrates, whom you said just now that you would bring as a witness

that you had not come here?

If anything was said in joke, it isn’t right for you to take it in earnest.

I know how much this has pained me at heart.

Prithee, Alcmena (taking her hand), by your right hand I do entreat you, grant me pardon; forgive me, don’t be angry.

By my virtue have I rendered these accusations vain. Since then I eschew conduct that’s unchaste, I would wish to avoid imputations of unchastity. Fare you well, keep your own [*] property to yourself, return me mine. Do you order any maids to be my attendants?

Are you in your senses?

If you don’t order them,