The Purist Purized (7-8)

‘Archaist, curse not thy friend!’ he retorted, to a man who called him curst instead of crusty.

A man once used the phrase, ‘I was trying to save his face.’ ‘But is he in any danger of losing it?’ asked Socrates.

'Chided,’ said one man, ‘chode,’ another. He disclaimed all acquaintance with either form.

A person who volunteered ‘but and if’ was commended for his generosity.

Some one tried him with ‘y-pleased’; ‘no, no,’ said he; 'that is too much of a good thing.’

‘I expect him momently,’ some one announced. ‘A good phrase,’ he said; ‘so is “minutely”; we have excellent authority for “daily.” ’

'Look you!’ said a man, meaning ‘look.’ ‘Yes, what am I to look you at?’

He took up a man who said, ‘Yes, I can grapple with that,’ meaning that he understood, with ‘Oh, you are going to throw me, are you? how?’

‘How shrill those fives are!’ said some one. ‘Oh, come now,’ said Socrates; ‘seditions and strives, but not drums and fives.’

‘That man is heavily weighed,” one man observed. ‘You are quite right; there is no such word as weighted.’

People were very fond of calling it at-one-ment. ‘Yes, all right,’ he would say; ‘I know what it means.’

Mention being made of a black-hen, he supposed that would be the female of the grey-cock.

Some one said he had been eating sparrowgrass. ‘You'll be trying groundsel next,’ was his comment.

But enough of Socrates. Shall we have another match on the old lines? I will give you nothing but first-rate ones. Have your eyes open. You will surely be able to do it now, after hearing such a list of them.

I am by no means so sure of that. Proceed, however.

Not sure? well, but here you have the door broad open.

Say on.

I have said.

Nothing that I observed.

What, not observed ‘broad open’?

No.

Well, what is to happen, if you cannot follow now? Every man can crow on his own hay-cock, and I thought this was yours. Did you get that hay-cock? You don’t seem to attend; look at the mutual help Socrates and I have just given you.

I am attending; but you are so sly with them.