The Fisher (46-50)

Truth

I think we had better give Parrhesiades this commission; he has been shown an honest man, our friend and your true admirer, Philosophy. Let him take Exposure with him and have interviews with all who profess philosophy; any genuine scion that he finds let him crown with olive and entertain in the Banqueting Hall; and for the rascals—ah, how many!—who are only costume philosophers, let him pull their cloaks off them, clip their beards short with a pair of common goatshears, and mark their foreheads or brand them between the eyebrows; the design on the branding iron to be a fox or an ape.

Philosophy

Well planned, Truth. And, Parrhesiades, here is a test for you; you know how young eagles are supposed to bé tested by the sun; well, our candidates have not got to satisfy us that they can look at light, of course; but put gold, fame, and pleasure before their eyes; when you see one remain

unconscious and unattracted, there is your man for the olive; but when one looks hard that way, with a motion of his hand in the direction of the gold, first off with his beard, and then off with him to the brander.

Parrhesiades

I will follow your instructions, Philosophy; you will soon find a large majority ornamented with fox or ape, and very few with olive. If you like, though, I will get some of them up here for you to see.

Philosophy

What do you mean? bring them back after that stampede?

Parrhesiades

Oh yes, if the priestess will lend me the line I see there and the Piraean fisherman’s votive hook; I will not keep them long.

Priestess of Athene

You can have them; and the rod to complete the equipment.

Parrhesiades

Thanks; now quickly, please, a few dried figs and a handful of gold.

Priestess of Athene

There.

Philosophy

What is all this about?

Priestess of Athene

He has baited his hook with the figs and gold, and is sitting on the parapet dangling it over the city.

Philosophy

What are you doing, Parrhesiades? do you think you are going to fish up stones from the Pelasgicum?

Parrhesiades

Hush! wait till I get a bite. Posidon, the fisherman’s friend, and you, dear Amphitrite, send me good fishing!

Parrhesiades

Ah, a fine bass; no, it is not; it is a gilthead.

Exposure

A shark, you mean; there, see, he is getting near the hook, open-mouthed too. He scents the gold; now he is close—touching—he has it; up with him!

Parrhesiades

Give me a hand with the line, Exposure; here he is. Now, my best of fishes, what do we make of you? Salmo Cynicus, that is what you are. Good gracious, what teeth! Aha, my brave fish, caught snapping up trifles in the rocks,

where you thought you could lurk unobserved? But now you shall hang by the gills for every one to look at you. Pull out hook and bait. Why, the hook is bare; he has not been long assimilating the figs, eh? and the gold has gone down too.

Diogenes

Make him disgorge; we want the bait for some more.

Parrhesiades

There, then. Now, Diogenes, do you know who it is? has the fellow anything to do with you?

Diogenes

Nothing whatever.

Parrhesiades

Well, what do you put him at? threepence was the price fi I the other day.

Diogenes

Too much. His flavour and his looks are intolerable— a coarse worthless brute. Drop him head first over the rock, and catch another. But take care your rod does not bend to breaking point.

Parrhesiades

No fear; they are quite light—about the weight of a gudgeon.

Diogenes

About the weight and about the wit. However, up with them.

Parrhesiades

Look; what is this one? a sole? flat as a plate, thin as one of his own fillets; he gapes for the hook; down it goes; we have him; up he comes.

Diogenes

What is he?

Exposure

His plateship would be a Platonist.

Platonists

You too after the gold, villain?

Parrhesiades

Well, Plato? what shall we do with him?

Platonists

Off with him from the same rock.

Diogenes

Try again.

Parrhesiades

Ah, here is a lovely one coming, as far as one can judge in deep water, all the colours of the rainbow, with gold bars across the back. Do you see, Exposure? this is the sham Aristotle. There he is; no, he has shied. He is having a good look round; here he comes again; his jaws open; caught! haul up.

Aristotle

You need not apply to me; I do not know him.

Parrhesiades

Very well, Aristotle; over he goes.