The Dead Come to Life, or the Fisherman (46-50)

If you think best, let us empower Frankness himself to do this, since we have seen that he is honest and in sympathy with us, and that he particularly admires you, Philosophy—to take along Investigation and put himself in the way of all who claim to be philosophers. Then, whenever he finds a truly legitimate son of Philosophy, let him crown the man with a wreath of green olive and invite him to the Prytaneum;[*] and if he meets a scoundrel whose philosophy is but stage-play—there are many of that sort—let him tear his mantle, cut off his beard close to the skin with goat-shears, and stamp or brand a mark on his forehead, between the eyebrows; let the pattern of the brand be a fox or an ape.

Good for you, Truth! Let the test, Frankness, be like the test of the eaglets against the sun. Not that they, like the eaglets, are to stare at the light and be put to the proof in that way; but set gold and fame and pleasure in their view, and whomsoever of them you see paying no attention and in no way attracted to the spectacle, let him be the one to wear the crown of green olive; but whomever you see gazing fixedly at the gold and reaching his hand out after it, hale him off to the branding-place, after first cutting off his beard in accordance with our decision.

It shall be done, Philosophy. You shall very soon see most of them wearing the fox-brand or the ape-

What! you will bring up the runaways?

Yes, indeed, if the priestess will be good enough to lend me for a moment that hook and line which the fisherman from the Peiraeus dedicated.

There, take it, and the rod too, so that you may have a complete outfit.

And now, priestess, give me some figs quickly and a little of your gold.

Take them.

What does the man intend to do? Baiting the hook with the fig and the gold, and taking his seat on the crest of the wall, he has made a cast into the town! Why are you doing that, Frankness? Have you made up your mind to fish up the stones out of the Pelasgicon?

Hush, Philosophy; wait and see my catch. Poseidon, god of fishermen, and dear Amphitrite, send us up quantities of fish!

Ah! I see a fine big pike, or rather, a golden carp.—No, it is a cat-fish. Anyhow, he is coming up to the hook with his mouth open. He has scented the gold; now he is close by; he

He isup! Come, let me see what you are, my good fish. A dogfish![*] Heracles, what teeth! How about it, my fine fellow? Caught, were you, gormandizing about the rocks, where you hoped to slip under cover and keep out of sight? But now you will be in public view, hung up by the gills! Let us take out the hook and the bait. No, by Zeus, he has swallowed it! Here is your hook, all bare; the fig and the gold are secure in his insides.

Let him spew them up, by Zeus, so that we may bait for others. That’s well. What say you, Diogenes; do you know who this fellow is, and has he anything in common with you?

Not in the least!

Well, how much ought we to call him worth? For my part, I valued him at two obols the other day.

A high price. He is inedible and ugly and tough and worthless. Throw him down the cliff head first. Let down your hook and pull up another. But I say: look out, Frankness, not to let your rod bend till it breaks.

Have no fear, Diogenes. They are light, and pull no harder than weakfish.[*]

Aye, they are mighty weak, for certain; pull them up, however.

See! Here comes another fish that looks like a plate,[*] as if he were sliced lengthways, a sort of flatfish, opening his mouth for the hook. He has swallowed it; he is caught. Up with him! What is he?

The kind that styles itself Platonic.

So you came to get the gold too, confound you? What do vou say, Plato? What are we to do with him?

Over the same cliff with him! Let down for another.

Ah, I see a very handsome one coming up, as far as can be judged in the deep water; of many colours, with golden stripes on his back.[*] Do you see him, Investigation?

He is the kind that claims the name of Aristotle.

He came up and then swam away again. He is making a careful survey. Now he has come back again; he has opened his mouth; he is caught. Up with him.

Don’t ask me about him, Frankness. I don’t know who he is.

Then he too shall go over the cliff, Aristotle.