The Dead Come to Life, or the Fisherman (21-25)

PHILOSOPHY

Come, now, since we are where we planned to be, let us hold our court somewhere hereabouts in the portico of Our Lady of the Citadel.[*] Priestess, arrange the benches for us. Let us in the meantime pay our homage to the goddess.

FRANKNESS

Lady of the Citadel, come to my aid against the pretenders, remembering how many oaths thou dost hear them make and break each day, and what they do thou alone seest, dwelling as thou dost upon a lookout. Now is thine hour to requite them. If thou seest that I am being overborne, and that the black ballots are more than the half, add thou thine own and set me free.[*]

PHILOSOPHY

Well and good. Here we are for you, gentlemen, all seated in readiness to hear the speeches. Choose one of your number who in your opinion can best conduct the prosecution, and when you have done so, build up your complaint and establish your charge; it is not feasible for all to speak at once. You, Frankness, shall make your defence thereafter. PLATO Which. of us, I wonder, would be the best fitted to handle the case?

CHRYSIPPUS

You, Plato. Marvellous sublimity, superlatively Attic elegance, charm and _ persuasiveness, insight, subtlety, opportune seductiveness in demonstration— all this is yours to the full. Accept the spokesmanship, therefore, and say whatever is appropriate in behalf of us all. Remember now all your former successes and put together any points you have urged against Gorgias or Polos or Hippias or Prodicus: this man is more able than they. So apply a light

sprinkling of irony, too, put those clever, incessant questions of yours, and if you think best, also slip it in somewhere that “great Zeus in heaven driving his winged car” would be angry if this man should not be punished.

PLATO

No, let us make use of someone more strenuous— Diogenes here, or Antisthenes, or Crates, or you yourself, Chrysippus. For surely what the occasion demands now is not elegance and literary distinction, but some degree of argumentative and forensic equipment: Frankness is a professional speaker.

DIOGENES

Well, then, I will be prosecutor, for we shall not require speeches of any great length, I suppose: and besides, I have been insulted beyond all of you, since I was auctioned off the other day for two obols.

PLATO

Diogenes will make the speech, Philosophy, for all of us. Remember, friend, not just to speak for yourself in the complaint, but to keep our common interests in view. If we do disagree with one another a little in our doctrines, you must not examine into that, or attempt to say who is the nearer right, but, in general, make an impassioned plea for Philosophy herself, because she has been heaped with insult and shamefully abused in the dialogues of Freespeaker; ignore the personal views wherein we differ, and fight for what we all have in common. Take note, you are our sole representative and it rests with you whether all our teachings are to seem worthy of high reverence or to be thought no better than this man made them out to be.

DIOGENES

Do not be alarmed; we shall not come short: I will speak in behalf of all. Even if Philosophy, swayed by his eloquence—for she is naturally kindly and gentle—determines to acquit him, I for my part shall not be found wanting, for I will show him that we do not carry sticks for nothing!

PHILOSOPHY

Not by .any means! Use arguments, rather, for that is better. Butdo notdelay. The water already has been poured in,[*] and the jury has its eyes upon you.

FRANKNESS

Let the others[*] take seats, Philosophy, and cast their votes with your company, and let Diogenes be the only prosecutor.

PHILOSOPHY

Then are you not afraid they may find you guilty?

FRANKNESS

Not at all. In fact, I wish to win by a larger majority.

PHILOSOPHY

That is handsome of you. Well, then, take your seats, and you, Diogenes, begin your speech.

DIOGENES

What sort of men we were in life, Philosophy, you know right well, and I need not discuss that point at all; for who is not aware how much beauty was brought into life by Pythagoras here, Plato, Aristotle, Chrysippus and the others, to say nothing of myself?

I shall proceed to speak of the insults which, in spite of our merit, this double-dyed scoundrel Frankness has dealt us. He is a public speaker, they say: but abandoning the courts and the successes to be gained therein, he concentrated upon us all thé eloquence and power that he had acquired .in rhetoric, and not only unceasingly abuses us himself by calling us cheats and liars, but induces the public to laugh and sneer at us as if we amounted to nothing at all. More than that, he has at last made people actually hate you, Philosophy, as well as us by dubbing your doctrines stuff and nonsense and rehearsing in mockery all that is most serious in what you taught us, so as to get applause and praise from his audience for himself and contumely for us. The common sort are that way by nature; they delight in jesters and buffoons, and most of all when they criticise what is held in high reverence. Just so in days gone by they took delight in Aristophanes and Eupolis, who brought Socrates on the stage to make fun of him and got up monstrous farces about him. The playwrights, however, showed their boldness against only one man, and at the Dionysia, when it was’ permissible to do so, and the joking was considered part of the holiday, and

The god, who loves his joke, no doubt was pleased.[*]