Loukios, or the Ass (46-48)

I do not know what happened the next day to my master the gardener, but the soldier determined to sell me, and parted with me for five dollars. The purchaser was a servant to a very rich man of Thessalonika, the largest town in Macedonia. His trade was to cook meats for his master, and he had a brother, a fellow-slave, who understood bread - baking and the flavoring of honey - cakes. These brothers were messmates always, lodged in the same house, held the tools of their trade as common property, and finally installed me, too, in their lodging. After the master's dinner these two used to bring home a quantity of fragments, the one of meats and fish, the other of bread and cakes. They would shut me in with these, leaving me the delightful task of guarding them while they went to bathe. And I, bidding farewell with all my heart to my portion of barley, would devote myself to the skill and earnings of my masters, and so for a long time I revelled in human food. At first, when they returned, they used to take no notice of my carnivorous tendency, because there was such a multitude of dishes, and because I still stole my dinner

with fear and discretion. But when at last I perceived their unconsciousness, I used to eat up the choicest morsels and a great deal beside. Then they began to notice their loss, and each at first looked suspiciously at the other, and called him thief, robber of common goods, lost to all sense of honor, and after that they both grew careful, and counted the morsels.

The effect on me was that by living this pleasant and luxurious life I grew handsome again in body from having my natural food, and my hide shone with a fresh growth of hair. But my most worthy masters, when they saw me growing fat and sleek, although my barley was not consumed, but remained of the same amount, began to suspect my audacity. So they went out as if going to the bath, closed the doors, and applied their eyes to a crack and watched what went on within. Innocent of the fraud, I forthwith advanced and took my dinner. They first burst out laughing at sight of the incredible meal. Then they called the other slaves to see me, and there was a general laugh, so that the master himself heard it, because it made such an uproar outside, and asked what the joke was out there. When he heard he rose up from his wine, peeped in, and saw me swallowing a bit of wild-boar. With a shout of laughter he entered the room. I was greatly disturbed at being discovered by the master

as a thief and glutton in one, but he laughed at me for a long time, and began by ordering me to be led in to his supper-party. There he bade them set a table for me, and put on it all sorts of things, such as no other ass could eat-meats, oysters, soup, fish—some dressed with caviare and olive-oil, and some sprinkled with mustard. I, when I saw fortune smiling sweetly on me, and perceived that this foolery only could save me, stood at the table and dined, though I had already made a hearty meal. The company shouted with laughter, and somebody said, "This ass drinks wine, too, if any one will pour some out for him." So the master ordered it, and I drank what was offered me.

He perceived, as you may suppose, that I was a remarkable creature, and ordered one of his stewards to pay my price to the man who had bought me, and as much again, and he handed me over to a young freedman of his establishment, bidding him instruct me in whatever would make me most diverting him. The young man found the task easy, for I obeyed instantly every instruction. First he made me recline on a couch, leaning on my elbow like a man. Then he taught me to wrestle with him, and actually to dance, standing upright on my hind-feet, and to nod my head or shake it in answer to questions, and a number of other things-all of which I

could have done even without teaching. And the report spread far and wide that my master had an ass who drank wine, wrestled, danced— most surprising of all, nodded and shook his head appropriately when spoken to, and, when he was thirsty, summoned the butler by a movement of his eyes. The spectators wondered at the thing as a marvel, not knowing that a man was shut up in the ass, and I made a fat living out of their ignorance. I learned to amble and carry my master on my back, galloping with a pace so gentle that the rider hardly perceived the motion. My harness was superb. I wore a purple saddlecloth, my bit was inlaid with gold and silver, and I was hung with bells which made the sweetest music.