Eunuchus; or, The Eunuch (534b-572c)

Nothing less likely.

Why, my dear Chremes?

Away to perdition with you!

If you are so determined about it, pray do step over to the place where she is.

I’ll go there.

Here, Dorias (DORIAS enters), show this person directly to the Captain’s.

Yesterday some young fellows of us agreed together at the Piraeus that we were to go shares today in a club-entertainment. We gave Chaerea charge of this matter;

our rings were given[*] as pledges; the place and time arranged. The time has now gone by; at the place appointed there was nothing ready. The fellow himself is nowhere to be met with; I neither know what to say nor what to suppose. Now the rest have commissioned me with his business, to look for him. I’ll go see, therefore, if he’s at home. But who’s this, I wonder, coming out of Thais’s?

Is it he, or is it not? ’Tis the very man! What sort of being is this? What kind of garb is this? What mischief is going on now? I can not sufficiently wonder or conjecture. But, whatever it is, I should like first at a distance to try and find out.

Is there any body here? There’s no one. Is there any one following me from there? There’s not a person. Now am I not at liberty to give vent to these raptures? O supreme Jupiter!

now assuredly is the time for me to meet my death,[*] when I can so well endure it; lest my life should sully this ecstasy with some disaster. But is there now no inquisitive person to be intruding upon me, to be following me wherever I do, to be deafening me, worrying me to death, with asking questions; why thus transported, or why so overjoyed, whither I’m going, whence I’m come, where

I got this garb, what is my object, whether I’m in my senses or whether downright mad?

I’ll accost him, and I’ll do him the favor which I see he’s wishing for. (Accosting him.) Chaerea, why are you thus transported? What’s the object of this garb? Why is it that you’re so overjoyed? What is the meaning of this? Are you quite right in your senses? Why do you stare at me? What have you to say?

O joyous day! O welcome, my friend!

There’s not one in all the world whom I would rather wish to see at this moment that yourself.

Pray, do tell me what all this means.

Nay rather, i’faith, I beg of you to listen to me. Do you know the mistress whom my brother is so fond of?

I know her; I suppose you mean Thais?

The very same.

So far I recollect.

To-day a certain damsel was presented to her. Why now should I extol or commend her beauty to you, Antipho,

since you yourself know how nice a judge of beauty I am? I have been smitten by her.

Do you say so?

If you saw her, I am sure you would say she’s exquisite. What need of many words? I fell in love with her. By good luck there was at our house a certain Eunuch, whom my brother had purchased for Thais, and he had not as yet been sent to her. On this occasion, Parmeno,

our servant, made a suggestion to me, which I adopted.

What was it?

Be quiet, and you shall hear the sooner; to change clothes with him, and order myself to be taken there in his stead.

What, instead of the Eunuch?

The fact.

To receive what advantage, pray, from this plan?