Trinummus: The Three Pieces of Money (932b-967)

Really I quite long to tell you. First of all we were conveyed to Pontus, to the land of Arabia[*].

How now; is Arabia then in Pontus?

It is. Not that Arabia where frankincense is produced,

but where the wormwood grows[*], and the wild marjoram which the poultry love.

An extremely ingenious knave this. But the greater simpleton I, to be asking of this fellow from what place I have come back, a thing which I know, and he does not know; except that I have a mind to try how he will get out of it at last. But what say you further? Whither did you go next from thence?

If you give me your attention, I will tell you.

To the source of the river which arises out of the heavens, from beneath the throne of Jupiter.

Beneath the throne of Jupiter?

Yes: I say so.

Out of the heavens?

Aye, out of the very middle.

How now; and did you ascend even to the heavens?

Yes: we were carried in a little skiff[*] right on, up the river, against the tide.

And did you see Jupiter as well?

The other Gods said that he had gone to his country-house, to dole out the victuals for his slaves.

Then, after that—

Then after that—I don’t want you to relate anything more.

Troth, I’m silent, if it’s troublesome.

Why, no decent person[*] ought to tell it, who has gone from the earth to heaven.

I’ll leave you, as I see you wish it. But point me out these persons whom I am looking for, and to whom I must deliver these letters.

What say you? If now perchance you were to see Charmides himself, him, I mean, who you say gave you these letters, would you know the man?

By my troth now, do you take me to be a brute beast, who really am not able to recognise the person with whom I have been spending my life? And would he have been such a fool as to entrust to me a thousand

Philippean pieces, which gold he bade me carry to his son, and to his friend Callicles, to whom he said that he had entrusted his affairs? Would he have entrusted them to me if he had not known me, and I him, very intimately?

I really have a longing now to swindle this swindler, if I can cozen him out of these thousand Philippean pieces

which he has said that I have given to him. A person, that I know not who he is, and have never beheld him with my eyes before this day, should I be entrusting gold to him? A man, to whom, if his life were at stake, I would not entrust a dump of lead. This fellow must be adroitly dealt with by me. Hallo! Mister Hush, I want three words with you.

Even three hundred, if you like.

Have you that gold which you received from Charmides?

Yes, and Philippeans, too, counted out on the table with his own hand, a thousand pieces.

You received it, you mean, from Charmides himself?

’Twere a wonder if I had received it of his father, or of his grandfather, who are dead.