Trinummus: The Three Pieces of Money (778-851)

Let him say that he is bringing some gold as a marriage-portion from her father for the girl, and that his father has requested him to deliver it to you.

Do you understand me now?

Pretty nearly; and I listen with great satisfaction.

Then, in consequence, you will finally give the gold to the young man when the girl shall be given in marriage.

Troth, ’tis very cleverly contrived.

By this means, when you have dug up the treasure, you will have removed all cause for suspicion from the young man.

He will think that the gold has been brought to you from his father; whereas, you will be taking it from the treasure.

Very cleverly and fairly contrived; although I am ashamed, at this time of life, for me to be playing a double part. But when he shall bring the letters sealed, don’t you suppose that the young man will then

recollect the impression of his father’s signet[*]?

Will you be silent now? Reasons innumerable may be found for that circumstance. That which he used to have he has lost, and he has since had another new one made. Then, if he should bring them not sealed at all, this might be said,—that they had been unsealed for him by the custom-house officers[*],

and had been examined. On matters of this kind, however, ’tis mere idleness to spend the day in talk; although a long discussion might be spun out. Go now, at once, privately to the treasure; send to a distance the men-servants and the maids; and—do you hear?

What is it?

Take care that you conceal this matter from that same wife of yours as well; for, i’ faith, there is never any subject which they can be silent upon. Why are you standing now? Why don’t you take yourself off hence, and bestir yourself? Open the treasure, take thence as much gold as is requisite for this purpose; at once close it up again, but secretly,

as I have enjoined you; turn all out of the house.

I will do so.

But, really, we are continuing too long a discourse; we are wasting the day, whereas there is need now of all expedition. There is nothing for you to fear about the seal; trust me for that. This is a clever excuse to give, as I mentioned,

that they have been looked at by the officers. In fine, don’t you see the time of day? What do you think of him being of such a nature and disposition? He is drunk already; anything you like may be proved for him. Besides, what is the greatest point of all, this person will say that he brings, and not that he applies for, money.

Now, that’s enough.

I am now going to hire a sharper[*] from the Forum, and then I will seal the two letters; and I’ll send him thither (pointing to the house of CHARMIDES), well tutored in his part, to this young man.

I am going in-doors then to my duty in consequence. Do you see about this matter.

I’ll take care it’s done in the very cleverest style.

To Neptune, potent o’er the deep and most powerful, the brother of aethereal Jove, joyously and sincerely do I proffer praise, and return my grateful thanks; to the salt waves, too, with whom lay supreme power over myself,—one, too, that existed over my property and my life, —inasmuch as from their realms they have returned me safe and sound even to my own native city. And, Neptune, before the other Deities, do I both give and return to you extreme thanks.

For all people talk of you as being cruel and severe, of voracious habits, filthy, unsightly, unendurable, and outrageous; on the other hand, I have experienced your kindly aid. For, in good sooth, I have found you mild and merciful upon the deep, even to that degree that I wished. This commendation, too, I had already heard with these ears before of you among men,—that you were accustomed to spare the poor, and to depress and overawe the rich.

Adieu! I commend you; you know how to treat men properly, according as is just. This is worthy of the Gods; they should ever prove benignant to the needy; to men of high station, quite otherwise. Trusty have you proved, though they are in the habit of saying that you cannot be trusted. For, without you, it would have happened, I am very sure, that on the deep your attendants would have shockingly torn in pieces and rent asunder wretched me, and, together with me, my property as well, in every direction throughout the azure surface of ocean.

But just now, like raging dogs, and no otherwise, did the winds in hurricane beset the ship; storms and waves, and raging squalls were about to roar, to break the mast, to bear down the yards, to split the sails; had not your favouring kindness been nigh at hand. Have done with me, if you please; henceforth have I now determined to give myself up to ease; enough have I got. With what pains have I struggled, while I was acquiring riches for my son.

But who is this[*] that is coming up the street with his new-fangled garb and appearance? I’ faith, though I wish to be at home, I’ll wait awhile; at the same time, I will give my attention to see what business this fellow is about.

To this day I give the name of The Festival of the Three Pieces (Trinummus); for, on this day, have I let out my services in a cheating scheme for three pieces of money.

I am just arrived from Seleucia, Macedonia, Asia, and Arabia,—places which I never visited either with my eye or with my foot. See now, what business poverty brings upon the man that is wretchedly destitute; inasmuch as I am now obliged, for the sake of three pieces of money, to say that I received these letters from a certain person, about whom I don’t know,

nor have I ever known, who the man is, nor do I know this for certain, whether he was ever born or not.

Faith, this fellow’s surely of the mushroom genus; he covers himself entirely with his top.[*] The countenance of the fellow appears to be Illyrian; he comes, too, in that garb.