Mostellaria, or The Haunted House (506-545)

Hush, hush!

Troth now, what has happened, prithee?

The door made a noise.

Was it he that was knocking?

I have not one drop of blood! Dead men are come to fetch me to Acheron, while alive!

I’m undone! those people there will mar my plot. (A noise is heard from within.) How much I dread, lest he should catch me in the fact.

What are you talking about to yourself? (Goes near the door.)

Do get away from the door. By heavens, fly, I do beseech you.

Fly where? Fly yourself, as well.

I am not afraid: I am at peace with the dead.

Hallo! Tranio[*].

You won’t be calling me, if you are wise. (Aloud, as if speaking to the APPARITION.) ’Tis not I that’s guilty; I did not knock at the door.

Pray, what is it that’s wrong? What matter is agitating you, Tranio? To whom are you saying these things?

Prithee, was it you that called me?

So may the Gods bless me, I fancied it was this dead man expostulating because you had knocked at the door. But are you still standing there, and not doing what I advise you?

What am I to do?

Take care not to look back. Fly; cover up your head!

Why don’t you fly?

I am at peace with the dead.

I recollect. Why then were you so dreadfully alarmed just now?

Have no care for me, I tell you; I’ll see to myself. You, as you have begun to do, fly as quick as ever you can; Hercules, too[*], you will invoke.

Hercules, I do invoke thee! (Runs off.)

And I, as well, old fellow, that; this day he’ll send some heavy mishap upon you.

O ye immortal Gods, I do implore your aid. Plague on it! what a mess I have got into to-day.

I never knew any year worse for money upon interest, than this year has turned out to me. From morning even until night, I spend my time in the Forum;

I cannot lend out a coin of silver to any one. (Enter TRANIO.)

Now, faith, I am clearly undone in an everlasting way! The Banker’s here who found the money with which his mistress was bought. The matter’s all out, unless I meet him a bit beforehand,

so that the old man may not at present come to know of this. I’ll go meet him. But (seeing THEUROPIDES) I wonder why he has so soon betaken himself homeward again. I’m afraid that he has heard something about this affair. I’ll meet him, and accost him. But how dreadfully frightened I am! Nothing is more wretched than the mind of a man with a guilty conscience,

such as possesses myself. But however this matter turns out, I’ll proceed to perplex it still further: so does this affair require.