Curculio, or The Forgery (667-692b)

For what reason so?

Because he agreed with me on these terms to give it back: that if any one should assert her to be free born in due course of law, he would, without dispute, pay back all the money.

Then let’s go to the Procurer.

I agree.

This first I wish; to despatch my matter.

What’s that?

That you will betroth her to me.

Why do you hesitate, Captain, to give her as a wife to him?

If she is agreable.

My brother, it is my wish.

So be it then.

You do rightly.

Captain, do you betroth me to her for my wife?

I do betroth her.

And to him do I promise support at my expense.

You do kindly. But ⋯

⋯But see, here’s the Procurer coming; my treasurer[*], I mean.

Those who say[*] it’s bad for bankers to be trusted, utter nonsense;

I say it’s neither good nor bad for them to be trusted, and that, I’ve fully experienced this day. They are not[*] badly trusted, who never repay, but with whom it is lost outright. As for example, before this Lyco paid me the ten minae, he had to go to every banker’s counter. After there were no proceeds, I summoned the fellow with much noise; he appealed against me to the court. I was most confoundedly afraid that this day he’d be settling accounts with me before the Praetor[*];

but my friends forced him, so he paid the money at home. Now I’m resolved to make haste to my house.

Hallo! you Procurer; I want you.

And I want you.

But I don’t want either of you.

Stay this instant, will you.

And make you haste to disgorge the money with all despatch.

What have you to do with me? (To the CAPTAIN.) Or what have you?

Because this day I shall be making a javelin of you, discharged from a catapulta,

and twist you with the string[*], just as the catapultas are in the habit of doing.

I’ll this day make a coxcomb of you, to be sleeping with a puppy[*] in your bed—an iron one, I mean.

But I’ll make you both to be rotting in a strong-barred prison.