Curculio, or The Forgery (365b-414)

Do I delay you?

But let’s cram down something first, the gammon, the udder, and the kernels; these are the foundations for the stomach, with bread and roast beef, a good-sized cup and a capacious pot, that counsel enough may be forthcoming. Do you, yourself, seal the letter; he’ll do the honors (pointing to PALINURUS) while I am eating.

I’ll dictate after what fashion you’re to write. Follow me this way, in-doors.

I follow.

I seem to be in opulence; I’ve struck my balance, how much money I have, and how much I owe. I’m rich, if I don’t pay[*] those to whom I’m in debt. If I do pay those to whom I’m in debt, my debts are the greatest.

But really, upon my faith, when I carefully consider, if they press me hard, I’ll resort to the Praetor[*]. Most bankers have this habit, for one to borrow of the other, and to pay nobody, and to discharge the debt with their fists, if any one duns in a loudish tone.

The person that has[*] in a short time acquired wealth, unless in good time he saves it, in good time comes to starvation. I’d like to buy a servant for myself, who now, however, must be sought by me on hire[*]: there’s occasion for my ready money.

Don’t you be reminding me now I’m full; I recollect and understand.

I’ll render up to you all this cleverly carried out; do hold your peace. I’ faith, I’ve surely filled myself in-doors right well, and still in my stomach I’ve left room for one corner, in which to stow away the remnants of these remnants.

Who’s this that with covered head is saluting Aesculapius? Heyday, the very man I wanted. (To an ATTENDANT.) Follow me.

I’ll make pretence as though I didn’t know him. (Aloud.) Hark you; I want you.

One-eyed man[*], save you.

Prithee, do you jeer me?

I suppose that you are of the family of the Coclites[*]; for they are one-eyed.

This was knocked out for me by a catapulta,

at Sicyon.

What matters it to me, pray, if it had been knocked out by a broken pot with cinders in it?

This fellow’s a wizard, surely[*]; he tells the truth, for such catapultas are often directed at me.

Young man, as I bear this mark on my face[*] in the service of the public, prithee don’t be uncivil[*] to me.

May I then inforize[*] you, if I may not incomitiatize?

You shan’t be inforizing me, indeed; and really I don’t care at all about your Forum or your Comitia. But if you can point me out this person that I’m seeking,

you will be doing me a real and a great service. I’m looking for Lyco the banker.

Tell me why you are now seeking for him, or, of what country are you?

I’ll tell you: I’m come from Therapontigonus Platagidorus, the Captain.

I’ faith, I know the name: (aside) for with that same name,

when I wrote, I filled four whole sides[*]. (To CURCULIO.) But why are you seeking for Lyco?

I’ve been ordered to deliver this letter to him.

What person are you?

His freed-man, whom all call Summanus[*].

Summanus, my greetings. But why Summanus? Let me know.