Casina, or The Stratagem Defeated (515-550)

Now, Alcesimus, I shall know whether you are the very picture of friend or foe to me; now is the proof upon view; now is the contest going on. But why do I do so; forbear to correct me; save yourself all that. With your hoary head, at an age unfit; save yourself that as well. One who has a wife; save yourself that like wise.

I never saw a person more distracted with love than yourself.

Do take care that the house is clear.

Why, faith, men-servants, maid-servants, all of them I’m determined to send out of the house to yours.

Heyday! with your adroitness you are very adroit! But only take care and remember the lines which Colax repeats [*]; take care that every one comes with his own provisions, as if they were going to Sutrium[*].

I’ll remember it.

Why now there’s no public ordinance[*] better ordered than yourself, in fact. Attend to this. I’m now going to the Forum; I shall be here just now.

Luck go with you.

Take care that your house gets a tongue.

Why so?

That when I come, it may invite me.

Pooh, pooh! you area person that stands in good need of a basting; you’re making too free with your fun.

Of what use is it for me to be in love, unless I’m quite ready and talkative?

But take you care that you haven’t to be sought for by me.

I’ll be at home all the while.

This was the reason, then, i’ faith, why my husband entreated me, with such great earnestness, to make haste and invite my female neighbour to our house— that the house might be clear for him to be taking Casina there. Now, therefore, I shall by no means invite her,

so that liberty of free range shan’t be any way given to worn-out bell-wethers. (ALCESIMUS is coming out of his house.) But look, the pillar of the Senate’s coming forward, the safeguard of the public, my neighbour, the person who is finding free range for my husband. I’ faith, the measure of wit[*] that has been sold to him, was purchased at no cheap rate.

I’m wondering that my wife, who’s already waiting at home, dressed out, to be sent for, hasn’t been invited by this to my neighbour’s here.

But see, here she is; she’s come to fetch her, I guess. (Going up to CLEOSTRATA.) Good day, Cleostrata!

And you the same, Alcesimus. Where’s your wife?

She’s waiting in-doors for you to send for her; for your husband requested me to send her to help you. Do you wish me to call her?

Let it alone; I don’t care; ⋯ if she’s busy.

She’s at leisure.

I don’t care about it; I don’t want to be troublesome to her; I’ll see her at a future time.

Are you not getting ready for a wedding there at your house?

I am getting ready and making preparations.

Don’t you require an assistant then?

We have enough at home. When the marriage has taken place, then I’ll call upon her; for the present, farewell, and bid her the same from me. (Goes into her house.)

What am I to do now? To my sorrow. I’ve done a most disgraceful action

for the sake of that vile and toothless goat, who has engaged me in this. I’ve promised the aid of my wife out of doors, as though to go lick dishes[*] like a dog. A worthless fellow, to tell me that his wife was going to send for her, whereas she herself declares that she does not want her. And upon my faith, it’s a wonder if this female neighbour of mine hasn’t already her suspicions of this.