Aulularia, or The Concealed Treasure (385-410)

Now I’ve bought a bit of frankincense, and these chaplets of flowers; these shall be placed upon the hearth for our household God, that he may grant a propitious marriage to my daughter. But what do I—? Do I behold my house open? There’s a noise, too, within; is it that I’m robbed, wretch that I am?

Seek of the neighbours a bigger pot[*] if you can; this one’s too little, it can’t hold it.

Woe to me! By my faith, I’m a dead man; the gold’s being carried off—my pot’s being looked for. I am certainly murdered, unless I make haste to run with all haste in-doors here! Apollo, prithee do assist and help me, whom thou hast already, before this, helped in such circumstances.

Pierce with thine arrows the plunderers of my treasures. But am I delaying to run, before I perish outright.

Dromo, do you scale the fish. Do you, Machaerio, have the conger and the lamprey boned.

I’m going to ask the loan of a baking-pan of our neighbour Congrio. You, if you are wise, will have that capon more smoothly picked for me than is a plucked play-actor[*]. But what’s this clamour that’s arising here hard by? By my faith, the cooks, I do believe, are at their usual pranks[*].

I’ll run in-doors, lest there may be any disturbance here for me as well.

Beloved fellow-citizens, fellow-countrymen, inhabitants, neighbours, and all strangers, do make way for me to escape! Make all the streets clear! Never have I at any time, until this day, come to Bacchants[*], in a Bacchanalian den, to cook; so sadly have they mauled wretched me and my scullions with their sticks.

I’m aching all over, and am utterly done for; that old fellow has so made a bruising school[*] of me; and in such a fashion has he turned us all out of the house, myself and them, laden with sticks. Nowhere, in all the world, have I ever seen wood dealt out more plentifully. Alackaday! by my faith, to my misery, I’m done for; the Bacchanalian den is opening, here he comes. He’s following us. I know the thing I’ll do: that the master himself[*] has taught me.