Aulularia, or The Concealed Treasure (214b-257b)

I know that they are plentiful, just like your money.

I’ faith, for sure I really did always take you to be a citizen without any evil guile, and now I think you so.

He smells the gold. (Aloud.) What do you want with me now?

Since you know me, and I know you, what sort of person you are—a thing, that may it bring a blessing on myself, and you and your daughter, I ask your daughter as my wife. Promise me that it shall be so.

Heyday! Megadorus, you are doing a deed that’s not becoming to your usual actions, in laughing at me, a poor man, and guiltless towards yourself and towards your family. For neither in act, nor in words, have I ever deserved it of you, that you should do what you are now doing.

By my troth, I neither am come to laugh at you, nor am I laughing at you, nor do I think you deserving of it.

Why then do you ask for my daughter for your self?

That through me it may be better for you, and through you and yours for me.

This suggests itself to my mind, Megadorus, that you are a wealthy man, a man of rank; that I likewise am a person, the poorest of the poor; now, if I should give my daughter in marriage to you, it suggests itself to my mind that you are the ox, and that I am the ass; when I’m yoked to you,

and when I’m not able to bear the burden equally with yourself, I, the ass, must lie down in the mire; you, the ox, would regard me no more than if I had never been born; and I should both find you unjust, and my own class would laugh at me; in neither direction should I have a fixed stall, if there should be any separation[*]; the asses would tear me with their teeth, the oxen would butt at me with their horns.

This is the great hazard, in my passing over from the asses to the oxen.

The nearer you can unite yourself in alliance with the virtuous, so much the better. Do you receive this proposal, listen to me, and promise her to me.

But indeed there is no marriage-portion.

You are to give none; so long as she comes with good principles, she is sufficiently portioned.

I say so for this reason, that you mayn’t be supposing that I have found any treasures.

I know that; don’t enlarge upon it. Promise her to me.

So be it. (Starts and looks about.) But, O Jupiter, am I not utterly undone?

What’s the matter with you?

What was it sounded just now as though it were iron?

Here at my place, I ordered them to dig up the garden. (EUCLIO runs off into his house.) But where is this man? He’s off, and he hasn’t fully answered me; he treats me with contempt.

Because he sees that I wish for his friendship, he acts after the manner of mankind. For if a wealthy person goes to ask a favour of a poorer one, the poor man is afraid to treat with him; through his apprehension he hurts his own interest. The same person, when this opportunity is lost, too late, then wishes for it.

By the powers, if I don’t give you up to have your tongue cut out by the roots, I order and I authorize you to hand me over to any one you please to be incapacitated.

By my troth, Euclio, I perceive that you consider me a fit man for you to make sport of in my old age, for no deserts of my own.

I’ faith, Megadorus, I am not doing so, nor, should I desire it, had I the means[*].

How now? Do you then betroth your daughter to me?

On those terms, and with that portion which I mentioned to you.

Do you promise her then?

I do promise her.

May the Gods bestow their blessings on it.

May the Gods so do. Take you care of this, and remember that we’ve agreed, that my daughter is not to bring you any portion.