Asinaria, or The Ass-Dealer (397b-433d)

He sold some asses at market to a dealer from Pella.

I understand; you are bringing it now. I think that he’ll be here just now.

Of what appearance is your chamberlain Saurea? If it’s he, I shall be able to know at once.

Lantern-jawed, with reddish hair, a little pot-bellied, with glaring eyes, middling stature, sour aspect.

A painter couldn’t have more correctly described his appearance— And, i’ faith, I see the very man; he’s coming this way, wagging his head.

Whoever gets in his way when he’s in a passion, he’ll be for striking him.

By my faith, if, indeed, he were coming filled with the threats and the courage of the grandson ofAeacus[*], if he were to touch me in his wrath, in his wrath he would be getting a thrashing.

What’s this to do here? Not a person bares a bit about my orders! How did I order Libanus to come to the barber’s shop, and he didn’t come at all. I’ faith, for sure he hasn’t consulted well for his back and his legs.

This is a very overbearing fellow.

Woe to me this day!

I bid welcome to Libanus, the freed-man! Are you set at liberty now?

I do implore you.

In good sooth, to your great misfortune surely have you fallen in my way. Why didn’t you come to the barber’s shop, as I ordered you?

This person detained me.

I’ faith, if in fact you were now to say that supreme Jove had detained you,

and he were present to sue for you, you shouldn’t escape the evil consequences. Whip-knave, did you disobey my orders?

Stranger, I’m done for.

Prithee, Saurea, for my sake, don’t beat him.

I wish, now, I had a whip in my hand—

Prithee, do be appeased.

—With which to lash your sides, which have grown callous with blows.

Stand off this way; let me be the death of this fellow who is continually inflaming me with anger—a thief to whom I can never once enjoin a single thing, but that I must command the same things a hundred times, and din them in his ears[*]. For that reason, now, by my troth, what with bawling and passion, I cannot endure the labour. Have you, you rascal, (pointing) ordered this dirt to be removed hence from the door?

Have you ordered the labours of the spiders to be swept down from the pillars? Have you ordered those bosses on our door[*] to be brought to brightness? It’s of no use; I must walk about with a stick, as though I were a lame man. Because only for these single three days I have been giving my constant attendance at the Forum, in order to find some one who requires money upon interest, here,

in the meantime, are you sleeping at home, and my master is living in a pigstye, not in a house.(He strikes LIBANUS.) There now, take you that.

Prithee, stranger, do take my part.

Saurea, for my sake, I entreat you, do let him go.

Hark you! has any one paid for the carriage of that olive oil?

He has paid.

To whom was it given?

To Stichus himself, your deputy.