Asinaria, or The Ass-Dealer (1-851)

PROLOGUS

Attend now, Spectators, if you please, forthwith to this, and may this matter turn out fortunately for me and for yourselves, and for this company, and for our employers

[*], and for our managers [*]. Now, crier, do you at once make all the people give. attentive ear. Come, be seated now, only be careful that 'tis not for nought. Now I will tell you why I have come forward here, and what my intention is, that you may know the name of this play. For, so far as relates to the plot, it really is a short one. Now I will tell you what I said I was wishful to inform you upon. The name of this play in Greek is Onagos [*]— Demophilus [*] composed it—Marcus [*]Plautus turned it into Latin. He wishes it to be called Asinaria [*] if by your leaves it may be so. In this play there is both pleasantry and fun. 'Tis a droll story; kindly lend me your attention; may Mars, too, as, full oft at other times he has done, so give you now his aid.

LIBANUS

As you desire your own only son to survive your own existence, prosperous, and living on; so by your lengthened years, and by that wife of yours of whom you stand in awe, do I conjure you, that if this day you have said anything that's false against myself, your wife may then survive your own existence, and that, she living, you, still alive, may come to utter destruction

[*].

DEMAENETUS

By the Gods above

[*] as to what you seek to know, I see that I must, perforce, speak out, whatever you question me upon, being thus conjured; so determinedly have you accosted me, that I really do not dare otherwise than to disclose everything to you making all these enquiries. Say then at once what it is that you desire so much to know; as I myself shall know, so will I let you know.

LIBANUS

Troth now, prithee answer me seriously what I ask you; take care that you tell me no falsehood.

DEMAENETUS

Why, then, don't you ask?

LIBANUS

Will you, then, be sending me there, where stone grinds stone

[*]?

DEMAENETUS

What place is that? Or where in the world is that place?

LIBANUS

Where worthless men are weeping, who breakfast upon pearled barley

[*].

DEMAENETUS

What that place is, or where it is, I cannot understand, where worthless men are weeping, who breakfast upon pearled barley.

LIBANUS

Why, in the islands of club-land and rattle- chains

[*], where dead oxen attack living men.

DEMAENETUS

I' faith, I now understand, Libanus, what place it is; that perhaps you mean, where the pearled barley is prepared.

LIBANUS

O dear: I'm not speaking of that, i' faith, nor do I wish to speak of it. Troth now, prithee, do spit out

[*] the words that you have spoken.

DEMAENETUS

Be it so; you shall be indulged. He coughs and spits.

LIBANUS

Come, come—hawk away.

DEMAENETUS

What, still more? Spits on.

LIBANUS

Troth now; prithee, do go on—still more.

DEMAENETUS

What-from the very bottom of my throat? Spits.

LIBANUS

Even more still.

DEMAENETUS

Why, how long? Spits.

LIBANUS

I want you, even to the death—

DEMAENETUS

Take you care of a woful mishap, if you please.

LIBANUS

Of your wife, I mean, not of yourself.

DEMAENETUS

For that speech, I give you leave to be free from apprehension.

LIBANUS

May the Gods grant you whatever you desire.

DEMAENETUS

In return, give me your attention. Why should I ask this of you? Or why should I threaten you, because you have not made me acquainted with it? Or why, in fine, should I censure my son as other fathers do?

LIBANUS

What new affair is this? Aside. I wonder much what it is, and I'm in dread what the upshot of it may be.

DEMAENETUS

In fact, I'm now aware that my son's in love with that Courtesan Philenium, that lives close by. Is not this as I say, Libanus?

LIBANUS

You are upon the right track; such is the fact. But a dreadful malady has overtaken him.

DEMAENETUS

What is the malady?

LIBANUS

Why, that his presents don't equal his promises.

DEMAENETUS

Are you, then, one who assists my son in his amours?

LIBANUS

I really am, and our Leonida is another.

DEMAENETUS

I' faith, you do kindly, and you gain thanks from me. But this wife of mine, Libanus, don't you know what sort of a person she is?

LIBANUS

You are the first to experience it, but we give a guess beforehand.

DEMAENETUS

I confess that she is troublesome and not to be pleased.

LIBANUS

You say that later than I believed you in it.

DEMAENETUS

All parents, Libanus, who listen to me, will show indulgence to their children, inasmuch as they will find their sons more kindly disposed and more affectionate; and that do I desire to do myself. I wish to be loved by mine; I wish myself to be like my father, who, for my sake, himself in the disguise of a ship-master, carried off from a procurer a female with whom I was in love; nor was he ashamed, at that time of life, to devise stratagems, and to purchase with good turns me, his son, for himself. These ways of my father have I resolved to imitate. For to-day my son Argyrippus has entreated me to give him a supply of money for his amours; and I very much wish in that to oblige my son. I wish to forward his amours; I wish him to be fond of myself, his father. Although his mother keeps him strictly, and with a tight rein, as fathers have been in the habit of doing, all that I dismiss. Especially as he has deemed me deserving, for him to entrust it to ire, I ought to pay all due regard to his feelings. Inasmuch as he has applied to me, as it is right that a respectful son should do, I wish him to have some money for him to give to his mistress * * * * *

LIBANUS

You are desiring that which I find you are do siring to no purpose. Your wife brought her servant Saurea with her on her marriage

[*], who has more in his control trol than you have.

DEMAENETUS

I received money with her, and for the portion I sold my authority. Now I'll compress into a few words what I want of you; my son is now in need of twenty silver minæ: do you manage that it may be forthwith found for him.

LIBANUS

From what place in the world?

DEMAENETUS

Cheat me of them.

LIBANUS

You are talking downright nonsense. You are bidding me take the clothes from off a naked man. I, cheat you?—come now, fly you without wings, please. What, am I to cheat you who have nothing in your power for your own self? Unless you have first cheated your wife out of something.

DEMAENETUS

Impose upon or rob myself in any way you can, my wife in any way, my servant Saurea in any way. I promise you that it shall not prove to your detriment, if you effect it to-day.

LIBANUS

On the same principle you might bid me to fish in the air, and to hunt with a javelin in the midst of the sea.

DEMAENETUS

Take Leonida as your coadjutor

[*]; devise some plan or other, think of some expedient: bring it about that my son this day gets some money to give his mistress.

LIBANUS

What say you, Demænetus * * * * * if the foe should intercept me, will you ransom me?

DEMAENETUS

I will ransom you.

LIBANUS

Then do you attend to something else, whatever you please.

DEMAENETUS

I'm off to the Forum, unless you wish for anything.

LIBANUS

Be of—why are you not walking

[*]?

DEMAENETUS

And do you hear, too—?

LIBANUS

Well now.

DEMAENETUS

If I want you for anything, where will you be?

LIBANUS

Wherever it shall be agreable to my feelings. Really, there's not a person that I shall stand in dread of from this time forward, for fear he might be able to do me an injury, since in your discourse you have disclosed to me all your sentiments. Why, your own self even I don't stand much in awe of, if I carry this out. I'll go where I intended, and there I'll commune upon my plans.

DEMAENETUS

Do you hear me? I shall be with Archibulus, the banker.

LIBANUS

In the Forum, you mean? DEM. There, if there shall be any occasion for me

[*].

LIBANUS

I'll remember it. (Exit.)

DEMAENETUS

to himself Not any servant can there be more artful than this fellow, nor yet more crafty, nor one that it is more difficult for you to be on your guard against. If you want anything well managed, entrust it to this same fellow; he'd rather he should die in wretchedness, than not have that quite completed which he has promised. For I know that this money is as surely forthcoming for my son, as that I look upon this same walking-stick. But why am I delaying to go to the Forum where I had intended ⋯ (Exit.)

ARGYRIPPUS

Is't thus it is,—me to be shut out of doors? Is this the reward that's given to me who deserve so highly of you? To him who deserves well you are unkind, to him who deserves ill you are indulgent. But to your own misfortune, for now from this spot will I go to the Triumvirs

[*], and there I'll take care your names shall be. I'll punish capitally yourself and your daughter, you enticers, pests, and destruction of young men! For, compared with you, the sea is not the sea; you are a most dangerous sea. For on the sea did I find it, here have I been cleaned out of my wealth. What I have given, and what kindnesses I have done, I find them all valueless for good, and thrown away. But from hence-forth, whatever harm I shall be able to do you, I will do it, and do it at your deserts. I' faith, I'll reduce you to the verge of poverty, that state from which you have risen. By my troth, I'll make you to know what you now are, and what you once were; what you were before I visited that daughter of yours, and, in my passion, bestowed upon her my affection; on coarse bread [*] you were enjoying your life, in rags, and in want. And if these you had, especial thanks did you return to all the Divinities. Now, bad woman, you the same person, when 'tis better with you, don't know me through whose means it is so. From a wild beast, I'll make you tame through hunger, only trust me for that [*]. But I have no reason to blame your daughter herself; she does not deserve it in the least. She acts by your command; she obeys your bidding; you are her mother, you too her mistress. I'll revenge myself on you; I'll ruin you; as you are deserving, and as you merit at my hands. But look now, the hag, how she really doesn't think me worthy for her to come to and address and deprecate my resentment. But, see, the enticer's coming out at last, I think. Here. before the door, I'll address her in my own fashion, as I please, since I'm not allowed to do so within.

CLEAERETA

If any purchaser should come, he could not carry him away from me each single word of those for gold Philippean pieces. What you say wrongfully against us is good gold and silver. Your heart is locked up here with us, at the helm of Cupid. With oars and with sails make haste and fly as fast as you can; the further you betake yourself to sea, the more the tide will bring you back to harbour.

ARGYRIPPUS

I faith, I'll be depriving this custom-house officer

[*] of his dues. From henceforth I'll persist in treating you as you have deserved of me and mine, since you have treated me not as I deserve, in excluding me from your house.

CLEAERETA

I know that that is rather said with the tongue, than that it will happen in deed.

ARGYRIPPUS

I alone have brought you from obscurity and from want; if I alone patronize you, you can never return sufficient thanks.

CLEAERETA

Do you still be the only one to patronize me, if you alone will always give me what I ask. Do you always keep what has been promised you, on this condition, that you surpass others in your presents.

ARGYRIPPUS

What limit is there to be to giving? For really you can never be satisfied; the moment that you've received something, not very long after, you are devising something for you to be asking for.

CLEAERETA

What limit is there to be to your enjoying yourself, and to your indulging your amour? Can you never be satisfied? The moment that you have sent her home, that instant, you are directly asking me to send her back to you.

ARGYRIPPUS

In fact, I have given whatever you have demanded of me.

CLEAERETA

And I have sent the damsel to you. A requital has been given, like for like; a return for the money.

ARGYRIPPUS

You treat me badly.

CLEAERETA

Why do you blame me if I do my duty? For nowhere is it either feigned in story or represented in pictures or written in poems, where a procuress, who wishes to thrive, treats any lover well.

ARGYRIPPUS

Still, 'twere right for you to show favour to me at least, that I might last the longer for you.

CLEAERETA

Don't you know, the woman that shows favour to a lover, that same woman shows little favour to herself? Just like a fish, so is a lover to a procuress; he's good for nothing if ne isn't fresh. Then it has juice, then it has sweetness; in any fashion you like you may season it, either stewed or roasted; ill any way you will, you may turn it. So the lover; he's ready to give, he longs for something to be asked of him, for there it's taken from a full stock, nor does he know what he's giving, or what mischief he's doing. Of this matter does the new lover think; he wishes himself to please his mistress, he wishes to please me, he wishes to please her lady's maid

[*], he wishes to please the men-servants, he wishes to please the maid-servants as well, and even my dog does he caress, that when it sees him, it may be delighted. I tell the truth; it shows cleverness for every person to be fair-dealing for his own advantage.

ARGYRIPPUS

I've thoroughly learned that this is true, to my own great misfortune.

CLEAERETA

I' faith, if you now had anything to give, you'd be uttering different remarks; now, since you've got nothing, you expect to be having her by means of harsh language.

ARGYRIPPUS

'Tis not my way.

CLEAERETA

Nor yet mine, indeed, i' faith, to be sending her to you for nothing; but this shall be done out of regard for your youthful age and your own sake, since you have rather been the cause of profit to us than of reputation to yourself. If two talents of silver

[*] are paid me down, reckoned in my hand, this night will I grant you for nothing, as a present, by reason of my respect for you.

ARGYRIPPUS

What if I haven't it?

CLEAERETA

I'll believe that you haven't it—still, she shall go to another.

ARGYRIPPUS

Where is that which I have given you already?

CLEAERETA

Spent; for if it was remaining to me, the damsel should be sent to you, and I should never ask for anything. Daylight, water, the sun, the moon, the night, these things I purchase not with money; the rest, whatever we wish to enjoy, we purchase on Grecian trust

[*]. When we ask bread of the baker, wine from the wineshop—if they receive the money, they give their wares; the same principle do I go upon. My hands always have eyes in them; they believe what they see. There's an old saying, "trusting is good for nought [*];" you know whose it is—I say no more.

ARGYRIPPUS

Now I'm clean stripped, you tell me another tale; a very different one, I say, you give me now from formerly, when I was making presents; a different one from formerly, when with kindness and good words you used to entice me to your house. Then did your house even smile upon me, when I used to come to you. You used to say that I alone of all loved you and her. When I had given anything, just like the young ones of a pigeon were you both upon my lips; and all your likings were according to my own liking. You always kept close to me; whatever I requested, whatever I wished, you used to do; what I didn't wish and forbade, that, with carefulness, you used to avoid, nor did you first venture to attempt to do it. Now, you jades, you don't much care either what I do wish or what I don't wish.

CLEAERETA

Don't you know? This calling of ours is very like that of the fowler. The fowler, when he has prepared the spot, sprinkles the food about. The birds are accustomed to the spot. 'Tis necessary for him

[*] to make an outlay, who seeks for gain. They eat often; if they are caught once, they reimburse the fowler. So in like manner here with us. Our house is the spot, I am the fowler, the courtesan is the food, the couch is the decoy, the lovers the birds. By kindly welcoming them, by addressing them courteously, by dallying, and by chattering over the wine, and amusing conversation, they are won. If one of them has touched her bosom, that is not without advantage to the fowler. If he has taken a kiss, him you may take without a net. That you should be forgetful of these things, you who have been schooled so long!

ARGYRIPPUS

That's your own fault, in turning away from you a scholar half instructed.

CLEAERETA

Come back again without hesitation, if you've got the pay; for the present, be off. Pretends to go.

ARGYRIPPUS

Stay, stay; don't you hear me? Say what you think it fair that I should give you for her, that for this year she may be with no one else.

CLEAERETA

What, you? Twenty minæ. And on this condition: if any other person shall bring them first to me, to you—good-bye.

ARGYRIPPUS

But I— There's still something that I wish to say to you before you go.

CLEAERETA

Say what you please.

ARGYRIPPUS

I'm not entirely ruined yet; there's still something more left for me to come to ruin. I have wherewithal to give you what you ask; but I'll give it you on my own terms, that you may be enabled to understand that throughout all this year she is to be at my service, and that, in the meantime, she is to admit no other man whatever to her, besides myself.

CLEAERETA

Why, if you choose, the male-servants that are at home, I'll make eunuchs of. In fine, take you care and bring articles of agreement that we will be as you wish. Impose conditions upon us as you wish, and as you shall choose. Do you only bring the money with you, I'll readily put up with the rest. The doors of procurers are very like those of a custom-house officer; if you bring anything, then they are opened; if there is nothing for you to give, then the doors are not opened. Goes into her house.

ARGYRIPPUS

to himself. I'm undone, if I don't procure these twenty minæ. And really, unless I make away with this much money, I must come to destruction. Now I'll go to the Forum, and make trial with my resources, with all my endeavours. I'll beg, I'll earnestly entreat each friend as I see him; both good and bad am I determined to apply to, and make trial of. But if I can't borrow it, I'll take it up at interest, I'm resolved. (Goes into the house of DEMÆNETUS.)

LIBANUS

Upon my faith, Libanus, it really were better for you now to be waking, and to be devising some plan for procuring the money. A long time has now elapsed, since you parted with your master and went to the Forum. For that end that you might devise some plan for procuring the money, there till this time of day have you been sleeping at your ease. Why don't you away with all slothfulness from yourself, and remove all sluggishness, and betake yourself again to your former dexterous ingenuity. Preserve your master; take you care, too, how you do the same that other servants are wont, who employ a clever ingenuity in cheating their master? Whence shall I get it? Whom shall I diddle out of it? Whither shall 1 steer this fly-boat? 'Tis settled, 'tis confirmed by auspices; on each side do the birds give good omens. The woodpecker and the crow are on my right, the raven, as well, upon my left. They are persuading me to it: i' faith, I'm resolved to follow your advice. Starts and listens. But what means this, that the woodpecker is tapping the elm-tree? That's not for nothing. Troth, for certain, so far as I can gather omens from augury, the rods are in readiness for my own back, or for Saurea the chamberlain. But what means this that Leonida is running this way out of breath? I fear that this bodes ill for my trumped-up schemes Stands apart.

LEONIDA

to himself. Where now shall I find Libanus, or my master's son, that I may make them more mirthful than is Mirth herself

[*]? Great booty and a triumph do I bring them on my arrival. Inasmuch as together with me they drink, together with me they are wont to wench, why, this booty that I've got, together with them will I share it.

LIBANUS

apart. This fellow has been robbing a house, if he has been acting after his usual manner. Woe to the person that has so carelessly kept the door!

LEONIDA

to himself. I could be ready to be a slave for an age, if I could only meet with Libanus.

LIBANUS

apart. I' faith, with my assistance, indeed, you shall never be free a bit the sooner.

LEONIDA

to himself. I'd give two hundred teeming lashes

[*] on my back as well.

LIBANUS

apart. He's giving away all his substance, for he carries his treasures on his back

[*].

LEONIDA

to himself. But if time should intervene upon this opportunity, never, upon my faith, will he hereafter obtain it again, oven with white horses

[*]. He'll be deserting his master in the siege; he'll be increasing the courage of the foe. But if with me he is desirous to seize hold upon this opportunity which has presented itself, very great bounties brimful of joyousness, will he, together with myself, be producing for his masters, both for the son and the father. So that, for life, they will be indebted to us both, bound by our services.

LIBANUS

apart. He's talking of persons being bound

[*], I don't know who. I don't like it; I fear for us in common, lest he may have been cheating in some cheatery.

LEONIDA

to himself. I'm utterly undone, unless I find Libanus at once, wherever in the world he is.

LIBANUS

apart. This fellow's looking out for an accomplice, to unite with himself in a bad design. I don't like it: 'tis a portentous sign that instant, when a person trembles that sweats

[*].

LEONIDA

to himself. But why, as I hasten, do I loiter here with my feet, and make myself so bounteous with my tongue? Why don't I bid it be quiet, that in its talkativeness is wearing out the day?

LIBANUS

apart. Upon my faith, an unfortunate man, to check his patroness; for if he has done anything roguishly, his tongue perjures itself in his behalf.

LEONIDA

to himself. I'll make haste, lest I should be providing a safe keeping for my spoil too late.

LIBANUS

apart. What spoil is this? I'll go meet him, and enquire what it is. He accosts him. I wish you health in as loud a voice as my strength admits of.

LEONIDA

Exerciser of the whip, health to you.

LIBANUS

Keeper of the gaol, how do you do?

LEONIDA

Ha! colonizer of the chains.

LIBANUS

Ha! delight of the scourges.

LEONIDA

When naked, how many pounds do you say you are in weight?

LIBANUS

Upon my faith, I don't know.

LEONIDA

I know that you don't know; but, i' faith, I who have weighed you do know. Tied up naked, you were a hundred pounds in weight, when you were hanging with your feet downwards.

LIBANUS

On what evidence is that?

LEONIDA

I'll tell you on what evidence, and in what way. When you are tied up with a full hundred pounds to your feet

[*], when the manacles are fastened to your hands, and tied to the beam, you are weighing neither more nor less, than as being a worthless and good-for-nothing fellow.

LIBANUS

Woe be to you!

LEONIDA

That, Servitude bequeaths to you by her will.

LIBANUS

I wish this skirmishing of words to be cut short. What matter is this?

LEONIDA

Am I sure in trusting you?

LIBANUS

You may, without hesitation.

LEONIDA

If you wish to assist our master's son in his amour, there is so much of a good opportunity on a sudden, but still mingled with evil—all the hangman's days will be rendered famous by ourselves. Libanus, now have we occasion to find some boldness and inventiveness. An exploit so great have I thought of just now, that we two may be pronounced the most deserving of all for torture to befall us.

LIBANUS

'Twas on that account I was wondering why my shoulder-blades were aching just now, which were beginning to prognosticate that there was some danger for them at home. Whatever it is, speak out.

LEONIDA

'Tis great booty with great risk.

LIBANUS

If indeed all persons by compact were to collect all the tortures, I have, I fancy, a back at home, so that I need not seek it out of doors.

LEONIDA

If you maintain such firmness of resolve, then we are all right.

LIBANUS

Why, if the matter were to be atoned for by my back, I could wish to seize the public money: I'll persist in my denial, and I'll endure all; in fine, I'll forswear myself.

LEONIDA

Ah! that's true valour, when occasion is, for one to endure misfortune with boldness. He that endures misfortune with boldness, that man afterwards enjoys good fortune.

LIBANUS

Why don't you tell the matter at once? I'm longing to tempt the scourge.

LEONIDA

breathing hard. Ask deliberately each particular then, that I may rest me. Don't you see that I'm still out of breath with running?

LIBANUS

Well, well, I'll wait your pleasure, even, in fact, till you die.

LEONIDA

Where's our master, pray?

LIBANUS

The old one is at the Forum, the young one is here in-doors.

LEONIDA

That's enough for me then.

LIBANUS

Is it then that you've become a rich man?

LEONIDA

Leave off your raillery.

LIBANUS

I'll have done; for my ears are in expectation of what you are bringing me.

LEONIDA

Give your attention, that equally with myself you may learn this.

LIBANUS

I'm silent, then.

LEONIDA

You oblige me. Don't you remember that our chamberlain sold some Arcadian asses to a dealer of Pella

[*]?

LIBANUS

I remember it; after that, what then?

LEONIDA

Well, he has sent some money here then to be paid to Saurea, for the asses; a young man has just now come who has brought this money.

LIBANUS

Where is this person?

LEONIDA

You think he ought to be devoured this instant, if you could see him.

LIBANUS

Aye, to be sure. But, however, you are speaking, I suppose, of those asses, aged and lame, whose hoofs were quite worn away to their very thighs?

LEONIDA

Those same ones, that carried the elm twigs hither from the country, for your use.

LIBANUS

I understand you; and the same ones carried you from here, bound, into the country

[*].

LEONIDA

You say what's quite correct. But as I was sitting in the barber's shop, he began to make enquiries of me, whether I knew a certain Demænetus, the son of Strato. At once I said that I knew him, and that I was his servant; and I pointed out our house.

LIBANUS

After that, what then?

LEONIDA

He said that he was bringing the money for the asses to the chamberlain Saurea, twenty minæ in amount; but that he himself didn't know the individual, who he was, but that he knew Demænetus quite well. Since he spoke thus to this effect—

LIBANUS

What then?

LEONIDA

Listen then, and you'll know. At once I made myself courteous, and a person of consequence. I said that I was the chamberlain. Thus, in these terms did he answer me: "Upon my faith, I don't know Saurea, nor yet of what appearance he is. It isn't fair for you to blame me; but if you like, bring here Demænetus, your master, whom I do know; I'll not prevent you taking the money then." I said that I would bring him, and that I should be at home immediately. He's about to go to the baths

[*], from there he'll afterwards come here. What plan do you think, now, I ought to adopt? Tell me.

LIBANUS

Why, I'm thinking of this, how to get between the money, and the stranger, and Saurea. At present this matter is rough-hewn; but if this stranger brings here the money first, then are we both at once shut out from it. But the old man to-day took me apart at a distance from the house, and threatened me and yourself that we should be tasters of the elm twigs, if Argyrippus didn't this very day get twenty mine of silver. He commanded that we should cheat either the chamberlain or his own wife, and said that he would give the aid he promised. Now, do you go to the Forum to our master, and tell him this, how we are going to manage; that you, from Leonida, are going to be the chamberlain Saurea, until the dealer has brought the money for the asses.

LEONIDA

I'll do as you request me.

LIBANUS

In the meantime, I'll amuse him here, if by chance he should come first.

LEONIDA

But what say you—?

LIBANUS

What do you want?

LEONIDA

If I give you a blow on the cheek with my fist, by-and-by, while I'm personating Saurea

[*], don't you be offended.

LIBANUS

I' faith, but you'll have a care not to be touching me, if you are wise; you'll surely have changed your name to day with a bad omen

[*].

LEONIDA

Prithee, do endure it with resolution.

LIBANUS

Do you endure the cuff that I, too, shall be giving you in return.

LEONIDA

I speak as it's in the habit of being done.

LIBANUS

I' faith, and I speak, too, of how I'm likely to act.

LEONIDA

Don't refuse me.

LIBANUS

Why I promise, I tell you, to give you a like return, just as you deserve.

LEONIDA

I'm off; I know that you'll put up with it by-and-by. But who's this? 'Tis he—'tis the very man himself. I'll return here just now; in the meantime do you detain him here; I want to inform the old gentleman. (Exit.)

LIBANUS

Well, do your duty, then, and fly.

THE ASS-DEALER.

to himself. According as it was pointed out to me, this must be the house where Demænetus is said to live. To the BOY. Go, boy, and knock, and call Saurea the chamberlain out here, if he's in-doors. The BOY goes to knock.

LIBANUS

Who's breaking in our door in this fashion? Enough there, I say, if you hear me at all.

THE ASS-DEALER.

No one has touched it as yet: are you out of your senses?

LIBANUS

Why I thought that you had touched it, because you were steering your course in that direction. I don't want the door, my fellow-slave

[*], to be thumped by you; I really am attached to our house.

THE ASS-DEALER.

I' faith, there's no fear of the hinges being broken off the doors, if you answer all who make enquiries in this fashion.

LIBANUS

This door is of this habit; it cries out at once for tho porter, if it sees any door-kicker at a distance coming towards it. But what are you come for? What are you enquiring about?

THE ASS-DEALER.

I wanted Demænetus.

LIBANUS

If he were at home, I would tell you so.

THE ASS-DEALER.

Well, his chamberlain then?

LIBANUS

No more is ne at home.

THE ASS-DEALER.

Where is he?

LIBANUS

He said he was going to the barber's.

THE ASS-DEALER.

Hasn't he returned, since he went there?

LIBANUS

I' faith, he hasn't. What did you want?

THE ASS-DEALER.

He was to have received twenty mine of silver, if he had been in.

LIBANUS

What was it for?

ASS-D.

He sold some asses at market to a dealer from Pella.

LIBANUS

I understand; you are bringing it now. I think that he'll be here just now.

THE ASS-DEALER.

Of what appearance is your chamberlain Saurea? If it's he, I shall be able to know at once.

LIBANUS

Lantern-jawed, with reddish hair, a little pot-bellied, with glaring eyes, middling stature, sour aspect.

THE ASS-DEALER.

A painter couldn't have more correctly described his appearance— And, i' faith, I see the very man; he's coming this way, wagging his head.

LIBANUS

Whoever gets in his way when he's in a passion, he'll be for striking him.

THE ASS-DEALER.

By my faith, if, indeed, he were coming filled with the threats and the courage of the grandson of Æacus

[*], if he were to touch me in his wrath, in his wrath he would be getting a thrashing.

LEONIDA

to himself. What's this to do here? Not a person bares a bit about my orders! How did I order Libanus to come to the barber's shop, and he didn't come at all. I' faith, for sure he hasn't consulted well for his back and his legs.

THE ASS-DEALER.

to himself. This is a very overbearing fellow.

LIBANUS

to the ASS-DEALER. Woe to me this day!

LEONIDA

I bid welcome to Libanus, the freed-man! Are you set at liberty now?