Amphitryon, or Jupiter in Disguise (1034_sp87-1034_sp116)

Amphitryon, do let him alone, for my sake, and listen to me.

Well then, I’ll let him alone. What do you want? Say on.

He has just now been telling me most extraordi nary marvels. A juggler, or a sorcerer, perhaps, has enchanted all this household of yours. Do enquire in other quarters, and examine how it is. And don’t cause this poor fellow to be tortured, before you understand the matter.

You give good advice; let’s go in, I want you also to be my advocate against my wife.

Who with such weighty blows has been shaking this door on all the hinges? Who has been making such a great disturbance for this long while before the house? If I find him out, I’ll sacrifice him to the shades of the Teleboans. There’s nothing, as the common saying is, that goes on well with me to-day. I left Blepharo and Sosia that I might find my kinsman Naucrates; him I have not found, and them I have lost. But I espy them; I’ll go meet them, to enquire if they have any news.

Blepharo, that’s our master that’s coming out of the house; but this man’s the sorcerer.

O Jupiter! What do I behold? This is not, but that is, Amphitryon; if this is, why really that cannot be he, unless, indeed, he is double.

See now, here’s Sosia with Blepharo; I’ll accost them the first. Well, Sosia, come to us at last? I’m quite hungry.

Didn’t I tell you, Blepharo, that this one was the sorcerer?

Nay, Theban citizens, I say that this is he (pointing to JUPITER) who in my house has made my wife guilty of incontinence, through whom I find a store of unchastity laid up for me.

Master, if now you are hungry, crammed full of fisticuffs, I betake me to you.

Do you persist, whip-scoundrel?

Hie thee to Acheron, sorcerer.

What, I a sorcerer? (Strikes him.) Take that.

What madness possesses you, stranger, for you to be beating my servant?

Your servant?

Mine.

You lie.

Sosia, go in-doors, and take care the breakfast is got ready while I’m sacrificing this fellow.

I’ll go. (Aside.) Amphitryon, I suppose, will receive the other Amphitryon as courteously as I, that other Sosia, did me, Sosia, a while ago. Meantime, while they are contending, I’ll turn aside into the victualling department[*]: I’ll clean out all the dishes, and all the vessels I’ll drain.

Do you say that I lie?

You lie, I say, you corrupter of my family.

For that disgraceful speech, I’ll drag you along here, seizing you by the throat.

Ah wretched me!

But you should have had a care of this beforehand.

Blepharo, aid me!

The two are so exactly alike that I don’t know which to side with. Still, so far as possible, I’ll put an end to their contention. (Aloud.) Amphitryon, don’t slay Amphitryon in fight; let go his throat, I pray.

Are you calling this fellow Amphitryon?

Why not? Formerly he was but one, but now he has become double. While you are wanting to be he, the other, too, doesn’t cease to be of his form. Meanwhile, prithee, do leave go of his neck.

I will leave go. (Lets go of AMPHITRYON.) But tell me, does that fellow appear to you to be Amphitryon?