Dialogues of the Courtesans (2.3-2.4)

Then you’re not getting married, Pamphilus?

Are you out of your mind, Myrtium, or is it a hang-over? Though I must say we remained quite sober last night.

It was Doris here who gave me this nasty shock. I sent her out to buy some wool for the little stranger, and to pray to Artemis to deliver me safely, and she’d met Lesbia, she told me, and—but it’d be better for you yourself, Doris, to tell him what you heard, unless you made all this up.

Ruin take me, mistress, if I told a single lie. When I got to the town-hall, I met Lesbia who was all smiles and told me that our lover, Pamphilus, was marrying Philo’s daughter. She said that if I didn’t believe her, I was to peep into your alley and see the garlands everywhere, the girl-pipers, the commotion, and the people singing the wedding hymn.

Well, Doris, did you take a peep?

I certainly did, and I saw everything, just as she said.

I understand how you were misled. It wasn’t all lies that Lesbia told you, Doris. What you reported to Myrtium was true. But you were worried without reason, for the wedding wasn’t in our house, but now I recall my mother’s words, when I returned from here yesterday. “My dear Pamphilus”, she said, “Charmides, that young fellow of the same age as you, the son of neighbour Aristaenetus, is getting married at last. He’s showing some sense, but how long are you going to continue keeping a mistress ?”Listening to her on and off, I dropped off to sleep. Then I left the house early in the morning, so that I didn’t see anything of what Doris saw later on. If you don’t believe me, Doris, go out again and take a good look, not just at the lane, but at the door to see which one has the garlands. You’ll find it belongs to our neighbours’ house.

You’ve saved my life, Pamphilus. I’d have hanged myself, if anything like that had happened.

Such a thing could never have happened. I hope I’ll never be so mad as to forget Myrtium, especially now that she’s going to have my child.