Dialogues of the Dead (10.9)

Have his beard off too, Hermes; only look what a ponderous bush of a thing! There’s a good five pounds’ weight there.

Yes; the beard must go.

And who shall shave me?

Menippus here shall take it off with the carpenter’s axe; the gangway will serve for a block.

Oh, can’t I have a saw, Hermes? It would be much better fun.

The axe must serve.—Shrewdly chopped!—Why, you look more like a man and less like a goat already.

A little off the eyebrows?

Why, certainly; he has trained them up all over his forehead, for reasons best known to himself—Worm! what, snivelling? afraid of death? Oh, get on board with you.

He has still got the biggest thumper of all under his arm.

What’s that?

Flattery; many is the good turn that has done him.

Oh, all right, Menippus; suppose you leave your independence behind you, and your plain-speaking, and your indifference, and your high spirit, and your jests!—No one else here has a jest about him.

Don’t you, Menippus! you stick to them; useful commodities, these, on shipboard; light and handy.—