The ship or the wishes (21-25)

Then how will the cup-bearer serve a full goblet as heavy as that? And how will you take it from him without an effort? It won’t be a cup he offers, but a weight as heavy as Sisyphus’s rock! [*]

Man, don’t pick my wish to pieces. I’ll make my tables of solid gold too and my couches of gold and, if you don’t keep quiet, my servants as well.

Take care you don’t become a Midas and have your bread and drink turned to gold, and wretched in your riches perish, destroyed by a famine of superabundance.

You’ll arrange your affairs more convincingly, Lycinus, when you make your requests in a moment. To go on, my dress will be of purple and my life the height of luxury, my sleep the sweetest possible. Friends will come and ask for favours and they’ll all bow down and grovel. Some of them will be walking up and down by my doors from dawn, among them Cleaenetus and Democritus, those great men, and, when they come and demand to be let in first, seven porters will stand there, tall barbarians, who will slam the door right in their faces, as they now do themselves. When I think fit I shall look out, like the rising sun. Some of them I shall not even look at, but if there is a poor man there, as I was before my treasure, I shall show him favour and bid him bathe and come back to dinner at the right time. But the others, the rich, will choke with envy when they see my carriages and horses and pretty slave-boys, two thousand of them, the flower of every age.

Then dinners on gold—silver is cheap and unworthy of me—a pickled fish from Spain, wine from Italy, oil from Spain, as well, our own fresh Attic honey, meat from all parts—boar, and hare, and a variety of game-birds: a pheasant from Phasis, a peacock from India, and a guinea cock: and my several cooks will be experts in sweetmeats and sauces. If I demand a cup or a bowl

The rich men of today are clearly all Iruses [*] compared to me. Dionicus will never again show his little silver platter or cup in the procession, especially when he sees that my servants use so much silver. For the city this would be my allocation: by way of doles, a hundred drachmas to every citizen per month, half of this to a resident alien; and for the general public theatres and baths to beautify the city; the sea brought up to the Dipylon and a harbour in that region with water brought up by a deep canal, so that my ship may anchor near by in full view of the Ceramicus.

For you, my friends, I’d have told the steward to make an allotment of minted gold: twenty bushels for Samippus, five quarts for Timolaus, and one quart for Lycinus levelled off with a strickle at that, because he’s a babbler and makes fun of my prayer. This is the life I wish to live, extravagant in wealth and luxury, enjoying every pleasure in fullest measure. I have spoken, and may Hermes bring it to fulfilment!