A Conversation with Cronus (1-5)

PRIEST

Cronus, you seem to be king just now, and it is you to whom we have offered sacrifices and we have received favourable omens. Now, what precise return for these rites would you give me if I asked?

CRONUS

In this case the proper procedure is for you to have made your own decision what to pray for, unless you expect your king to be a diviner as well and know what request would please you. As far as lies within my power I shall not deny your prayer.

PRIEST

My decision was made a long time ago. I shall ask for the usual, obvious things—wealth, a lot of gold, to be lord of an estate, to own many slaves, clothing, bright-coloured and soft, silver, ivory, and everything else that is worth something. Grant me some part of this, my dearest Cronus, so that I too may profit from your reign, and may not spend my whole life as the only one who gets no benefit.

CRONUS

There! That request is beyond me. It is not mine to distribute things of that sort. So don’t be discontented if you don’t get them, but ask Zeus

when the sovereignty comes round to him, as it will do presently. I take over the kingship on set terms. My entire reign is for seven days; the moment this period is over I am a private citizen and, I suppose, one of the common herd. But during the seven days I have agreed to conduct no business whatever, not even in politics. What I may do is drink and be drunk, shout, play games and dice, appoint masters of the revels, feast the servants, sing stark naked, clap and shake, and sometimes even get pushed head-first into cold water with my face smeared with soot. Such great gifts as wealth and gold Zeus distributes to whomsoever he pleases.

PRIEST

But even Zeus, Cronus, is not ready or open-handed in his gifts. At any rate I’ve shouted for them till I’m worn out, yet he doesn’t listen at all. No, he shakes his aegis and brandishes his thunderbolt with a fierce stare and terrifies those who bother him. If ever he does nod assent to anyone and make him rich, there is a great lack of discrimination about it. He sometimes passes over the good and wise and lavishes riches on wicked and stupid people, most of them criminals and effeminates. But the things you can do—these are what I want to know.

CRONUS

They are not entirely of no importance or altogether contemptible when judged in relation to the prerogatives of omnipotence—unless you think it

trivial to win at dice, and when others are rolling singles always to be turning up sixes yourself. At any rate many men have got themselves more than enough to eat in this sort of way, men to whom the die will give a gracious and generous nod. Then again, there are those who have swum out to safety without a stitch of clothing when their ship has foundered on the die’s tiny reef. Again, to drink the most delightful drinks, to be acclaimed a better singer in your cups than the next man, to see the others who serve at table with you thrown into the water as the penalty for their clumsy service while you are proclaimed victor and win the sausage as prize—do you see what a blessing that is? Again, to become sole king of all with a win at the knuckle-bones, so that you not only escape silly orders but can give them yourself, telling one man to shout out something disgraceful about himself, another to dance naked, pick up the flute-girl, and carry her three times round the house—surely this is proof of my generosity? And if you criticise this kingdom as not real or lasting you will be unreasonable when you know that I myself who dispense these blessings have the sovereignty for only a short time. So do not hesitate to ask for any of these things which I can give you: gaming, lordship of the feast, singing and all that I have enumerated, in the assurance that I shall not in any circumstances frighten you with the aegis and the thunderbolt.

PRIEST

Why, best of Titans, I need nothing like that. But answer me this—I have longed to know, and

if you tell me it will be an adequate return for the sacrifice and I release you from future debts.

CRONUS

Just ask what you want. I shall answer if I happen to know.

PRIEST

This first: whether what we often hear about you is true, that you ate up Rhea’s children, but she put Zeus out of the way, substituting a stone for you to swallow down instead of the child; then, when he grew up, he beat you in war and drove you from the sovereignty; he took you to Tartarus, put fetters on you and all the allies who sided with you, and threw you in.

CRONUS

If it were not festival-time, my man, and if you weren’t allowed to get drunk and cheek your masters with impunity, you would have found out that I’m allowed to be angry at any rate—asking such questions and showing no respect for a grey-haired old god like me!

PRIEST

Now I don’t say this on my own, Cronus. Hesiod and Homer say so; I’m not sure that I should tell you that the rest of mankind too believes pretty much the same about you.