Alexander the False Prophet (26-30)

Again and again, as I said before, he exhibited the serpent to all who requested it, not in its entirety, but exposing chiefly the tail and the rest of the body and keeping the head out of sight under his arm. But as he wished to astonish the crowd still more, he promised to produce the god talking—delivering oracles in person without a prophet. It was no difficult matter for him to fasten cranes’ windpipes together and pass them through the head, which he had so fashioned as to be lifelike. Then he answered the questions through someone else, who spoke into the tube from the outside, so that the voice issued from his canvas Asclepius.[*]

These oracles were called autophones, and were not given to everybody promiscuously, but only to

those who were noble, rich, and free-handed.

For example, the oracle given to Severianus in regard to his invasion of Armenia was one of the autophones. Alexander encouraged him to the invasion by saying:

Under your charging spear shall fall Armenians and Parthi;

Then you shall fare to Rome and the glorious waters of Tiber

Wearing upon your brow the chaplet studded with sunbeams.[*]

Then when that silly Celt, being convinced, made the invasion and ended by getting himself and his army cut to bits by Osroes, Alexander expunged this oracle from his records and inserted another in its place:

Better for you that your forces against Armenia march not,

Lest some man, like a woman bedight, despatch from his bowstring

Grim death, cutting you off from life and enjoyment of sunlight.[*]

That was one of his devices, and a very clever one—belated oracles to make amends for those in which he had made bad predictions and missed the mark. Often he would promise good health to sick

men before their demise, and when they died another oracle would be ready with a recantation:

Seek no more for assistance against thy bitter affliction;

Death now standeth in view; ’tis beyond thy power to’scape him.

As he was aware that the priests at Clarus and Didymi and Mallus were themselves in high repute for the same sort of divination, he made them his friends by sending many of his visitors to them, saying:

Now unto Clarus begone, to the voice of my father[*] to hearken.”

and at another time,

Visit the fane of the Branchids and hear what the oracle sayeth,

and again,

Make thy way unto Mallus and let Amphilochus answer.

So far, we have been concerned with his doings near the frontier, extending over Ionia, Cilicia, Paphlagonia, and Galatia. But when the renown of his prophetic shrine spread to Italy and invaded the city of Rome, everybody without exception, each on the other’s heels, made haste, some to go in person, some to send; this was the case particularly with those who had the greatest power and the highest rank in the city. The first and foremost of these was Rutilianus,[*] who, though a man of birth and

breeding, put to the proof in many Roman offices, nevertheless in all that concerned the gods was very infirm and held strange beliefs about them. If he but saw anywhere a stone smeared with holy oil or adorned with a wreath,[*] he would fall on his face forthwith, kiss his hand, and stand beside it for a long time making vows and craving blessings from it.

When this man heard the tales about the oracle, he very nearly abandoned the office which had been committed to him and took wing to Abonoteichus. Anyhow, he sent one set of messengers after another, and his emissaries, mere illiterate serving-people, were easily deluded, so when they came back, they told not only what they had seen but what they had heard as if they had seen it, and threw in something more for good measure, so as to gain favour with their master. Consequently, they inflamed the poor old man and made him absolutely crazy.