Menippus, or the Descent Into Hades (1-2)

MENIPPUS All hail, ye halls and portals of my home! What joy you give mine eyes, to light returned![*] A FRIEND Isn’t this Menippus the Cynic? Assuredly nobody else, unless I cannot see straight; Menippus all over. Then what is the meaning of that strange costume— a felt cap, a lyre, and a lion’s skin? Anyhow, I must go up to him. Good day, Menippus; where under the sun have you come from? It is a long time since you have shown yourself in the city.

MENIPPUS I come from Dead Men’s Lair and Darkness Gate Where Hades dwells, remote from other gods.[*] FRIEND Heracles! Did Menippus die without our knowing it, and has he now come to life all over again?

MENIPPUS Nay, I was living when I went to Hell.[*] FRIEND What reason had you for this novel and surprising trip?

MENIPPUS

Youth spurred me, and I had more pluck than sense.[*]

FRIEND My dear fellow, do stop your play-acting; come off your blank-verse, and tell me in plain language like mine what your costume is, and why you had to go down below. Certainly it is not a pleasant and attractive journey!

MENIPPUS

Friend, ’twas necessity drew me below to the kingdom of Hades,

There to obtain, from the spirit of Theban Teiresias, counsel.[*]

FRIEND Man, you are surely out of your mind, or you would not recite verse in that way to your friends!

MENIPPUS Don’t be surprised, my dear fellow. I have just been in the company of Euripides and Homer, so that somehow or other I have become filled with poetry, and verses come unbidden to my lips.[*]

But tell me, how are things going on earth, and what are they doing in the city?

FRIEND Nothing new; just what they did before—stealing, lying under oath, extorting usury, and weighing pennies.

MENIPPUS Poor wretches! They do not know what decisions have been made of late in the lower world, and what ordinances have been enacted against the rich; by Cerberus, they cannot possibly evade them!

FRIEND What is that? Has any radical legislation been passed in the lower world affecting the upper?

MENIPPUS Yes, by Zeus, a great deal; but it is not right to publish it broadcast and expose their secrets. Someone might indict me for impiety in the court of Rhadamanthus,

FRIEND Oh, no, Menippus! In Heaven’s name don’t withhold your story from a friend! You will be telling a man who knows how to keep his mouth shut, and who, moreover, has been initiated into the mysteries,

MENIPPUS It is a perilous demand that you are imposing upon me, and one not wholly consistent with piety. However, for your sake I must be bold. The motion, then, was passed that these rich men with

great fortunes who keep their gold locked up as closely as Danae

FRIEND Don’t quote the motion, my dear fellow, before telling me what I should be especially glad to hear from you; that is to say, what was the purpose of your going down, who was your guide for the journey, and then, in due order, what you saw and heard there; for it is to be expected, of course, that as a man of taste you did not overlook anything worth seeing or hearing.